I remember the first time I ever stuck up for you for a simple reason: Because it was easy. It was the right thing to do.
But at the time, you were really surprised that I’d do that for you. You told me you weren’t used to other people sticking up for you. » Read more
I wrote a piece recently called “I Don’t Want Blind Loyalty.”
In it, I talk about how sometimes there’s this expectation from people that being a good friend means always taking their side. That being loyal means being a “yes man,” no matter the context.
And how I’m just not down for that. » Read more
“Aren’t you upset?” they said “Don’t you expect your friend to take your side?”
I shook my head no. “No, not automatically. Not if they don’t agree with me or what I’m doing.”
Blind Loyalty and Self-Satisfaction
I think a lot about loyalty. It’s often put forth as a virtue, right up there with honesty. » Read more
“I just wanted to make sure I reached out and thanked you,” she says.
“For what?” I ask.
“For talking to me so much about my breakup,” she says.
“Of course,” I tell her. “You’re my friend. You’d do it for me.”
“Well, you make it sound simple,” » Read more
I was a child of the 80’s. Obsessed with Cabbage Patch Kids. Punky Brewster.
This meant I came of age during the Jerry Springer years.
As I watched countless chairs hurled angrily across the stage, I absorbed a key message: There was nothing worse than your partner sleeping with someone else. » Read more
Last week we published “9 Things Monogamists Can Learn From Polyamory.” In that piece, we stated that both monogamy and polyamory have benefits. And that the best relationships combine aspects of each to form “the best of both worlds.”
We meant that. While we talk more about non-monogamy on this website, » Read more
PQ 5.8 — Who are my mirrors? Whom do I rely on to call me on my mistakes?
It was the world’s tackiest wedding RSVP.
She’d RSVP’ed no of course. And that was no big deal. But it was what she wrote next to it that took things over the top: I do not feel it’s appropriate to publicly witness, » Read more
“I think Rob is more in love with the idea of having a girlfriend than actually in love with me,” I said.
I could hear Skyspook’s breathing change. This was dangerous territory. My words were my truth, sure, but they were also a kind of betrayal.
The funny thing about polyamory, » Read more
“Just so we’re clear,” Don said. “You’ll never be as close to me as my wife. Not that there’s anything wrong with you. You’re lovely, don’t get me wrong.”
“Okay,” I said.
“No one will,” he continued.
I wondered why he was even telling me this. It had come out of nowhere. » Read more
I am not a particularly loyal person.
I wonder if it’s because one thing that life has taught me is that ultimately I can only rely on myself.
This revelation may seem paradoxical given the fact that I am beloved. Not only do I have a Master but also a well-cherished friend coterie that serves to insulate me from the world. » Read more