I was teaching a class a while back on an unrelated topic when a student interjected with an observation. The Love Languages framework is arguably one of the most popular and widely understood relationship models these days (and I write about it myself from time to time), so it was no surprise when they brought it up. » Read more
When You Have the Right Love Language But Are Speaking at the Wrong Volume
“You know, Page,” he says, “it seems like every time I turn around, I bump into someone who has just discovered the Love Languages framework, and they’re so excited about it.”
I nod. “I know what you mean. I can actually remember when I first heard of it about 10 years ago, » Read more
I Realize I’m Loved at the Strangest Times, from the Smallest Things
It’s Saturday. We’re both working in the living room on our laptops.
Delighted as always to be workaholics.
His Spotify mix is playing in the background, a kind of active white noise to smooth out the normal ambient noises. The peaks and silences of the house. Our neighbors. The street.
I’m not even registering the music, » Read more
Feeling Loved and Being Loved Are Different
I recently published an article called “When I’m Asking Why You Love Me, I’m Really Asking What Love Is to You.” I was pleasantly surprised by how much of a positive reception it received from readers. And how much of a conversation that formed in response.
That post is about how I realized after I went through my divorce that even though my ex-husband said he loved me all the time that when he and I were talking about love that we were talking about different things. » Read more
Forget Grand Gestures. Relationships Are Lost (or Won) in the Details.
Practice yourself, for heaven’s sake in little things, and then proceed to greater.
-Epicetus
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We have more possibilities in each moment than we realize.
-Thich Nhat Hanh
Forget Grand Gestures. Relationships Are Lost (or Won) in the Details.
The way that successful romantic relationships are framed is often very deceiving. » Read more
Distressed by Another’s Jealousy: How to Deal With Guilt From Hurting a Partner
I enjoy and follow your writings and the recent one about how to know your partner is jealous and not just inventing a concern reminded me that I’ve been trying to find some info on how to deal with it when a partner is jealous.
More specifically, how do I not have anxious and guilty feelings, » Read more
Hanging by a Thread: New Partners and Pseudo-Anxious Attachment
I wrote recently about attachment styles and how they come into play during relationships. In that post, I mentioned that the most difficult combination occurs when a person with anxious attachment is in a relationship with someone whose attachment style is avoidant. Anxious types, fueled by an insatiable emotional hunger, seek that closeness from their avoidant partner, » Read more
Polyamory and the Five Love Languages
I recently wrote about how much damage can be done to a person or an entire network of relationships in polyamory when everyone involved isn’t pulling their weight.
I forgot to mention that we need to be careful when considering what people are contributing. All work does not look the same. » Read more