Ways to Bridge the Gap If Your Partner’s Top Love Language Is Words of Affirmation & Yours Isn’t

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Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Hi Page!

I’m a long time reader of your blog and I have a mostly positive question! About feeeeelings. And communication styles.

I’ve currently got two lovely partners, one nesting and one not, and things are going great. Edging towards serious territory even. Nesting partner loves other partner and we’re all really good about the communication thing.  » Read more

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Myers-Briggs & Love Languages Aren’t Scientifically Valid, But That Doesn’t Make Them Useless.

A Magic 8-Ball toy whose display reads "As I see it yes"
Image by greeblie / CC BY

In 2008 I became obsessed with Myers-Briggs. For those who haven’t heard of it, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality test that gives you a 4-letter result. Each letter is a different binary that represents a dimension of personality.

The first letter of a Myers-Briggs result is either E for Extroversion or I for Introversion.  » Read more

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I Realize I’m Loved at the Strangest Times, from the Smallest Things

a white paper note that says ".love." on it in red lettering. It is stuck in the branches of a tree
Image by Jennifer Donley / CC BY

It’s Saturday. We’re both working in the living room on our laptops.

Delighted as always to be workaholics.

His Spotify mix is playing in the background, a kind of active white noise to smooth out the normal ambient noises. The peaks and silences of the house. Our neighbors. The street.

I’m not even registering the music,  » Read more

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Feeling Loved and Being Loved Are Different

a drawing of a little girl standing in front of a white brick wall and a green lawn having just let go of a red heart balloon that's about to fly away
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I recently published an article called “When I’m Asking Why You Love Me, I’m Really Asking What Love Is to You.” I was pleasantly surprised by how much of a positive reception it received from readers. And how much of a conversation that formed in response.

That post is about how I realized after I went through my divorce that even though my ex-husband said he loved me all the time that when he and I were talking about love that we were talking about different things.  » Read more

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Forget Grand Gestures. Relationships Are Lost (or Won) in the Details.

two yellow stick figure sculptures. They are both smiling. The one on the left seems to be giving a white flower petal to the one on the right.
Image by Kate Ter Haar / CC BY

Practice yourself, for heaven’s sake in little things, and then proceed to greater.

-Epicetus

*

We have more possibilities in each moment than we realize.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Forget Grand Gestures. Relationships Are Lost (or Won) in the Details.

The way that successful romantic relationships are framed is often very deceiving.   » Read more

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Distressed by Another’s Jealousy: How to Deal With Guilt From Hurting a Partner

a very sad looking character made of marshmallows. they have little hands made from white thumbtacks.
Image by Maryam Abdulghaffar / CC BY

I enjoy and follow your writings and the recent one about how to know your partner is jealous and not just inventing a concern reminded me that I’ve been trying to find some info on how to deal with it when a partner is jealous.

More specifically, how do I not have anxious and guilty feelings,  » Read more

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Hanging by a Thread: New Partners and Pseudo-Anxious Attachment

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Image by mattw1ls0n / CC BY

I wrote recently about attachment styles and how they come into play during relationships. In that post, I mentioned that the most difficult combination occurs when a person with anxious attachment is in a relationship with someone whose attachment style is avoidant.  Anxious types, fueled by an insatiable emotional hunger, seek that closeness from their avoidant partner,  » Read more

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