Locus of Control: Who’s Driving Your Life?

a gummy worm place atop a steering wheel, giving the illusion that it is driving
Image by Debs (ò‿ó)♪ / CC BY

When I first started dating, I was pretty clueless about what kind of person I should be seeking out. I was frankly pretty slapdash with regard to partner selection.

In the early days, I pretty much would date anyone who would have me. I looked at dating as a challenge where I needed to trick the other person into thinking I was their ideal partner until it was too late for them to change their mind about me —  » Read more

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PQ 7.8 — Does my communication show that I take responsibility for my actions and emotions?

A pie chart. Above the pie chart, it reads "Who is responsible?" The two choices are "Them" and "us." "Them" takes up the vast majority of the pie chart. "Us" is only a small sliver.
Image by Sean MacEntee / CC BY

PQ 7.8 — Does my communication show that I take responsibility for my actions and emotions?

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When Someone “Makes” Us Feel Something

It’s very common to hear people say that someone “made” them feel something.

“She made me feel bad.”

“You make me so unhappy.”

“He makes me so frustrated.”  » Read more

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PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries, First Degree, Second Degree, and Beyond

3 red buckets hanging on a wall, each bucket says "fire" on it
Image by Adele Prince / CC BY

PQ 3.2 — Have I sought input from everyone affected? Have I obtained their consent where my decision overlaps their personal boundaries? (Chapter 3 questions are all asked in the context of ones to ask to evaluate whether your choices are ethical.)

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This is truly one of the trickiest parts of polyamory —  » Read more

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