I remember when I first got into kink, got hooked into the kink community. My vanilla friends weren’t quite sure what to do with me. It was interesting in a way — since they knew that I was in an open marriage at the time. That my husband and I saw other people. That we considered ourselves polyamorous. » Read more
I never know quite where you stand, and that’s why I’m so into you.
Your attention and affection aren’t readily available. Instead, they’re highly conditional. And those conditions are ever-changing, hidden from the rest of the world.
You play a game whose rules aren’t published anywhere. Because they fluctuate like Fluxx or Calvinball. » Read more
Over a decade ago, I plunged onto the kink scene. Once I make up my mind to pursue something, I let go exuberantly, some might say recklessly.
I tend to be rather cautious when I’m considering doing something new. I’m known to research and interview people and to spend quite a while thinking over the issues in question before pursuing it. » Read more
I can remember the first time I ever heard the term “play partner.” I had just started seeing a new girlfriend, a doctor with a decidedly kinky streak.
She used it to refer to her husband’s best friend. She called this guy her play partner.
In a lot of ways, this kinky doctor was my entry point into BDSM. » Read more
I’ve been meaning to finish this particular post for a while, but I’ve held off.
This is primarily because I try very hard to not reward behavior that I don’t want to see again. The reason for this is simple. It’s essentially the closest thing to a fundamental rule in psychology: What you reward, » Read more
It’s a funny thing, being a kinkster. Because the kink scene brings people together who might otherwise never meet. I know people from every walk of life. Baristas who are just graduating from college and still living with their parents. Middle aged doctors, lawyers, executives. Retired small business owners. Everyone in between.
And I’ve reliably found that it’s how many friends I have — » Read more
I’m not sure exactly where I heard it first, but it was all the rage during the first year or two after I joined FetLife: “Be a credit to your kink.”
Practically everyone was writing about it back then, in some way, shape, or form.
The basic premise of this catchphrase was this: If you’re doing something considered beyond the sociosexual pale, » Read more
Today’s article is a guest post by Fay Creature.
Fay Creature has been practicing polyamory since 1998 and kink since 2003. She is queer – in sexuality, gender, and her approach to relationships, power exchange, and BDSM.
She previously contributed “Managing a D/s Dynamic When Your Partner Faces Mental Health Challenges.” » Read more
“It’s not the drugs,” Kurt said. “It’s the people you meet because of the drugs.”
He was a heavy user and had been for some time. Like many people, when I first met him, I’d pegged him for an addict. Assumed that his use was as simple as that, biochemical dependency. » Read more
I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now. It’s my favorite one. Thank you for writing every day, for being there. I’ve read that you struggle with confidence, but you don’t need to. Never stop writing!
I discovered you through my friends on the kink scene (who call you “Page the sage” » Read more