I don’t know if there’s one typical way to grow up, but I’m sometimes told by the people closest to me that I grew up in pretty unusual circumstances. I wrote about it at more length in earlier essays (for example, this one), but the short version is that in the 90s, » Read more
We’re about to go to bed when Justin remembers. “Oh crap, I forgot to give Bela his medicine.”
Bela’s one of our cats, a 17-year-old former stray that originally befriended Justin on the steps of his frat house. Bela was just barely out of his kitten phase then. But for a young cat, » Read more
In Some Relationships, So Much Energy Gets Wasted on Debating About Who Is Right or Wrong Instead of Learning to Manage Differences
When I first moved into the house I’m living into now, there were three other people living with me, one woman and two men. And they were all taller than me. A lot taller than me.
Now, I’m not exactly a short person. On a good day, in flat feet, I’m somewhere between 5’5″ » Read more
Today’s article is a guest writing from Justin Case.
Geek by day, geek by night, Justin Case grew up in a town without stoplights and developed his impressive mechanical skills by taking apart toasters when he was still in diapers (thankfully, he survived those early experiments and is still with us). An engineer who specializes in systems, » Read more
It’s late into the party, likely the final quarter of it judging by the sharp drop-off in energy and attendance. A lot of the guests have gone home. Most of the ones who are still here have gone inside. Out by the fire, it’s just me and my friend Z, the reverse canary, » Read more
Confession: I have an extreme, possibly irrational, hatred of online dating.
I Didn’t Try Online Dating Until 2009 After I Had My First Polyamorous Relationships
I started my very first serious long-term monogamous relationship in the spring of 2001. Back then, online dating certainly existed, but not many people were using it. Online dating was a lot more niche — » Read more
In fifth grade, I was friends with Ashley, the most popular girl at school. Her mother was our girl scout troop leader. Ashley was blonde. Good at sports. Her older sister was going to Dartmouth, a fact Ashley would constantly reveal to any new adult she encountered.
I never quite understood at the time why, » Read more
A lot of people involuntarily cringe when you use the word “deserve,” regardless of context. Because the way most people talk about who’s deserving and who isn’t, there’s a deterministic bent to it, an underlying belief that some of us are born into this world entitled to happiness and prosperity. And others aren’t. Usually this is predicated on factors beyond our control: How rich our parents are, » Read more
Whenever he buys me ramen, he always picks up the fancy kind. Well, half-fancy is probably closer to the truth. It’s still instant ramen. Just not the kind with the single brick of noodles and the foil packet of flavored salt. But the kind that has four packets inside.
The trusty foil packet is there of course. » Read more
Jealousy is in some measure just and reasonable, since it merely aims at keeping something that belongs to us or we think belongs to us, whereas envy is a frenzy that cannot bear anything that belongs to others.
-Francois de La Rochefoucauld
I was alone a lot when I was growing up. » Read more