PQ 16.7 — What accommodations do I make if one of my partners experiences jealousy?
You know, when it comes to my anchor partner, I’m really lucky.
Not because he never experiences jealousy (he most certainly does), but because he understands a very crucial distinction between the following two things:
- What you’re doing is causing me pain.
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Jealousy is not some kind of crime. It’s a signal. Perhaps it’s a very strong emotional signal — and often not a very specific one — but it’s definitely not a crime. And as with all strong emotional reactions, we are tasked with figuring out how best to identify and respond to jealousy, » Read more
There are few things in this world that are as attention-getting as a crying baby.
Babies cry as a form of communication. It’s one of the only ways they have.
And when a baby cries, you don’t always know exactly why. Is it because they’re gravely ill? Are they hungry? Do they need to be changed? » Read more
“Ugh,” I say.
“You okay?” he says.
“Yeah, my neck just hurts.” I rub the sore muscle, frowning. “No biggie. It happens sometimes.”
“Oh, mind if I help you with that?” he asks. “I can do a release.”
I’ve seen his training certificate on the wall. That he knows what he’s doing when it comes to massage therapy. » Read more
“Oh my dear Pageling,” Hilda said. “Don’t be so sad.”
I suddenly came to. Realized I’d been staring straight ahead with an unhappy expression on my face. My housemate Hilda and her friend Crock were sitting in the living room with me, gabbing as always, about mutual acquaintances. Pet peeves. » Read more
“I wish you’d just own up to what’s really going on here,” he says.
“You don’t really think it’s a bad idea. Admit it,” he says. “You’re just jealous.”
I don’t know what to say. I settle on, “That’s not what this is about.”
Because it’s true I’ve had my insecurities in the past regarding him but not to an unusual magnitude. » Read more
As I’ve mentioned before, jealousy is a very strong emotional signal — but it’s not a very specific one.
It’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly not how serious the issue is. » Read more
We’ve all been there. Driving down the road. Minding your own damn business. Just trying to get where you need to go — when the check engine light comes on.
It could be anything. Something easy to fix like a loose gas cap. Or it could be something far more serious. » Read more
“So I’m seeing this guy,” she says. “And he says he’s poly, but…”
“He’s so not okay with my seeing other people. He has a bunch of other partners. Seems like he falls in love every five minutes. But the second I look at someone else, he’s a mess.” » Read more