In Polyamory, Comfort Is a Huge Time-Saver

a photograph of a hand holding onto a weed that has been pulled up by its roots
Image by Harry Rose / CC BY

One of the questions I’m most often asked by monogamous or polycurious people is “How do you have time for it all?”

Typically, my reflex is to dive into some time management principles. Talk about different frameworks that can help you to prioritize (for example, Eisenhower/Covey’s time management matrix). Perhaps I’ll discuss the 80/20 Pareto principle,  » Read more

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I’m Suddenly Bothered By New Things After Quality Time with My Partner Got Cut Back. Any Thoughts?

a picture of a hot tub on a rooftop with a sun setting in the background
Image by Nick Webb / CC BY

Hi Page, 

I am currently in a 2-year relationship with a polyamorous, married man. His family (my metamour and their daughter) know me pretty well at this point. For a very long time in the beginning, jealousy wasn’t much of an issue at all, in fact I found some natural (and surprising) good feelings that I didn’t expect about feeling very positively about their success as a family and as a couple.  » Read more

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4 Things I’ve Found to Be True While Dating Polyamorously Regardless of Current Role

3 crocheted coasters, one large orange, one medium blue, and one small yellow
Image by storebukkebruse / CC BY

Whenever possible, I try to offer advice that applies to all sorts of relationships, whether that’s polyamorous, monogamous, or somewhere in between. And when I’m advising polyamorous folks in particular, I do my best to offer advice that will apply to people in a range of different relationship configurations.  Not just help for secondaries,  » Read more

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PQ 18.3 — Am I prepared to face uncomfortable feelings such as jealousy, insecurity and fear about my partner’s loyalty and to put in the work required to overcome them?

a covered wagon
Image by Mark Goebel / CC BY

PQ 18.3 — Am I prepared to face uncomfortable feelings such as jealousy, insecurity and fear about my partner’s loyalty and to put in the work required to overcome them?

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“And what do you think makes someone a bad fit for polyamory?” she asks me.

The question catches me off guard.  » Read more

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Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again

a black poodle looking up at the camera with its mouth open and its tongue out
Image by David McKelvey / CC BY

Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

They previously contributed four articles to Poly.Land:

  1. Is There a Right Time or Way to Break Up a Relationship?
  2. I Was Treated as a Disease Vector: Why There Are So Few Gay Men in Pansexual Polyamory
  3. Being Single Sucks,
  4.   » Read more

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PQ 16.7 — What accommodations do I make if one of my partners experiences jealousy?

a close up of a matrix of prison bars
Image by mitchell haindfield / CC BY

PQ 16.7 — What accommodations do I make if one of my partners experiences jealousy?

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You know, when it comes to my anchor partner, I’m really lucky.

Not because he never experiences jealousy (he most certainly does), but because he understands a very crucial distinction between the following two things:

  1. What you’re doing is causing me pain.
  2.   » Read more

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