I had a friend once upon a time. When I met her, she had a couple of strong business endeavors going on. I looked up to her. In my mind, she was a force. And I supported her businesses. Whenever I could, I bought items from her. I recommended her work to other people. I commissioned gifts from her for people in my life — » Read more
I’m told that I come off very secure. It’s a surprise to even people who have known me well that I’ve ever struggled with feelings of insecurity. That I had to intentionally work on learning to cope productively with jealousy.
But I did. I’m doing a lot better with it these days than before, » Read more
“You’re Just Jealous”: When Being Open About Your Insecurities Causes Partners to Assume You’re Concern Trolling
It’s been an awfully long time since I’ve had it said to me, but I can still remember the first time I had a partner say “you’re just jealous” in a dismissive way.
At the time, I’d been concerned about something very important. I could see my metamour wasn’t treating our partner very well. » Read more
At this point, Poly Land has featured a number of articles on jealousy (including this article that many have found quite helpful in coping with jealousy).
I recently featured a letter from someone concerned that their boyfriend might be conducting a secret affair based on their social media activity. After I featured that letter, I got a ton of response from readers weighing in on their thoughts.
Many of them were frankly surprised that someone could become so concerned based on their partner’s social media activity (in this specific case, » Read more
FOMO: (noun) Fear of Missing Out. Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.
JOMO: (noun) Joy of Missing Out. Feeling of contentment due to staying in and disconnecting, can be considered an act of self-care
Comparison. » Read more
I recently posted an article about jealousy baiting. In it, I talk about two situations in which someone who had been intimate with a partner of mine used that fact to be cruel to me.
I didn’t go into specifics in that article because I didn’t want the individuals to recognize themselves (on the off chance they were reading it). » Read more
I’ve been working through something very painful lately. Something that I’ve barely spoken about with anyone. Basically, just my nearest and dearest. And even with them, only sparingly.
Because it’s a mess. And I’m a mess about it.
But I’ve finally gotten to a place where I have enough closure that I can write an article about it, » Read more
I learned an important lesson very early on about jealousy and the dangers of pitting people against one other.
My first grade teacher hung a bulletin board in our classroom that she titled “King of the Mountain.”
She’d created a scene on poster board for it. The image was, predictably, a mountain. » Read more
“What’s wrong?” I ask him.
“It’s gonna sound silly,” he warns me.
“That’s okay,” I say. “Tell me anyway.”
He hasn’t been polyamorous for terribly long. And until this point, it’s been mostly him dating on his own. His wife, an introvert who enjoys her alone time, hasn’t dated much on her own. » Read more