Have you ever had someone tell you not to do something — and all of a sudden, you really want to do it?
Maybe it’s something you hadn’t even thought about, at all, before. But now, the minute someone’s telling you not to do something, you’re fighting the urge to rebel and do it. » Read more
Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.
They previously contributed five articles to Poly.Land:
- Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again
- Is There a Right Time or Way to Break Up a Relationship?
» Read more
While jealousy may be a very strong emotional signal, it’s not a very specific one. As I’ve written before, it’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly how serious the issue is or how to really fix it. » Read more
One of the questions I’m most often asked by monogamous or polycurious people is “How do you have time for it all?”
Typically, my reflex is to dive into some time management principles. Talk about different frameworks that can help you to prioritize (for example, Eisenhower/Covey’s time management matrix). Perhaps I’ll discuss the 80/20 Pareto principle, » Read more
I am currently in a 2-year relationship with a polyamorous, married man. His family (my metamour and their daughter) know me pretty well at this point. For a very long time in the beginning, jealousy wasn’t much of an issue at all, in fact I found some natural (and surprising) good feelings that I didn’t expect about feeling very positively about their success as a family and as a couple. » Read more
Whenever possible, I try to offer advice that applies to all sorts of relationships, whether that’s polyamorous, monogamous, or somewhere in between. And when I’m advising polyamorous folks in particular, I do my best to offer advice that will apply to people in a range of different relationship configurations. Not just help for secondaries, » Read more
PQ 18.3 — Am I prepared to face uncomfortable feelings such as jealousy, insecurity and fear about my partner’s loyalty and to put in the work required to overcome them?
“And what do you think makes someone a bad fit for polyamory?” she asks me.
The question catches me off guard. » Read more
My husband and I have started practicing polyamory for a little over four months now. It has come very naturally to me, but not my husband. I have had a partner for about three months and my husband goes through phases of being supportive and then being negative, creating “boundaries” that previously did not exist, » Read more
PQ 16.11 — How do I handle my own feelings of jealousy?
I’ve written quite a bit about the ways I’ve found to productively deal with jealousy. Recently, I put out this article, which is a good overview/summary of the best approach I’ve discovered.
Since I have the how-to covered (for now at least, » Read more
PQ 16.10 — How can I help support a partner who is feeling jealous or passed over?
It can be an incredibly difficult task to support a person who is feeling jealous or passed over — especially if our actions are part of the reason why they feel that way. » Read more