PQ 8.8 — More Glue, Please! Sex, Intimacy, and Reinforcing a Relationship Through Collateral Attachment

a closeup of a few dozen bottles of glue that have orange nozzles and white bottles
Image by bradleypjohnson / CC BY

PQ 8.8 — Is sex the glue that holds our relationship together? If my partner has sex with someone else, do I think the relationship will come unglued?

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As I mentioned before, I’m hypersexual. And a large part of my personal development re: relationships has been learning to control my libido.  » Read more

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PQ 5.2 — What needs do I have from my partners, in terms of time, emotional availability, commitment, communication and intimacy?

2 small wooden toys - they look like simplified version of people. they are "standing" close together
Image by JD Hancock / CC BY

PQ 5.2 — What needs do I have from my partners, in terms of time, emotional availability, commitment, communication and intimacy?

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Sometimes I think life would be easier if I had a fixed idea of what a “partner” is.

But I don’t.

I look back on all the people that I’ve known and loved,  » Read more

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Buttinski, #1 Metamour, or Compervert? Walking that Fine Line

a closeup image of a hotel key slot with a card inserted. the card reads "privacy please"
Image by hyku / CC BY

Buttinski Sign

Buttinski Sign. It is my Achilles heel. The thing that I find hardest about polyamory.  And it’s never what I’m asked about when people first learn I’m polyamorous. Usually, the most frequently asked question is something like “But don’t you get jealous?” (The answer to that question incidentally is yes occasionally, but not all the time,  » Read more

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Truth Drip: Titrating How Much We Share and When

an iv in the hospital
Image by marissa anderson / CC BY

It’s difficult to know how much to share about what goes on (sexually and otherwise) with one of your partners with another. It’s like titrating the truth, just like you would medicine in a hospital — a truth drip.

On the surface, it seems so easy. But you gotta be careful! You can overdose by saying too much or by saying too little.  » Read more

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One-Way Glass

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I don’t understand Skyspook. Not really. Certainly not the way he understands me.

I have my own perceptual and physical experiences of him. I know all too well how he looks and how he smells. I can easily imagine the sound of his voice and his laugh (and even when I only imagine this,  » Read more

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