I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of days. When I first started to worry, I thought maybe it would be a passing thought. A lot of things are. Most things are no big deal, and with time a concern seems silly.
But this one worry has persisted. And I’ve spent most of the day preceding thinking about it. » Read more
Why do people break up? If we were to take direction from movies and TV in answering this question, it would be reasonable to assume that breakups come about because of things like fighting, lying, infidelity, or insecurities constantly rearing their ugly heads.
But a recent study found that this wasn’t the case. » Read more
I can tell you almost anything, but I can’t tell you everything.
I wish I could. That it were that simple. I wish that I could just open up and tell you all of it. Everything that’s troubling me. Everything that excites me. The interesting parts, the boring parts. Everything in between.
But I can’t. » Read more
“We finish each other’s–”
–Arrested Development (and later, Frozen)
It’s kind of the best feeling… when you get close enough to a person that you feel like you know what they’re going to say next. When you can actually accurately finish their sentences. » Read more
I recently wrote a post called “Territorial Markers Aren’t a Great Proxy for Love.” In it, I talk about the time I was challenged because my husband shared a rainbow wine glass with a guest. Without my realizing it, those particular glasses had become emotionally linked to a romantic trip we’d taken together. » Read more
“Love is essential, gregariousness is optional.”
“Whacha thinking?” I ask him.
“Nothing much. Just chilling,” he says.
And yet I know there’s more to it. It’s just that thoughts don’t translate into words as well as he’d like. It’s not easy for him to bring them up to the surface, » Read more
PQ 8.8 — Is sex the glue that holds our relationship together? If my partner has sex with someone else, do I think the relationship will come unglued?
As I mentioned before, I’m hypersexual. And a large part of my personal development re: relationships has been learning to control my libido. » Read more
PQ 5.2 — What needs do I have from my partners, in terms of time, emotional availability, commitment, communication and intimacy?
Sometimes I think life would be easier if I had a fixed idea of what a “partner” is.
But I don’t.
I look back on all the people that I’ve known and loved, » Read more
Buttinski Sign. It is my Achilles heel. The thing that I find hardest about polyamory. And it’s never what I’m asked about when people first learn I’m polyamorous. Usually, the most frequently asked question is something like “But don’t you get jealous?” (The answer to that question incidentally is yes occasionally, but not all the time, » Read more
It’s difficult to know how much to share about what goes on (sexually and otherwise) with one of your partners with another. It’s like titrating the truth, just like you would medicine in a hospital — a truth drip.
On the surface, it seems so easy. But you gotta be careful! You can overdose by saying too much or by saying too little. » Read more