I’ve Made a Conscious Decision Not to Prize the Squeaky Wheel Over the One With Quieter Problems

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Image by Piano Piano! / CC BY

Folks who are in emotional crumple zones are the ones others worry the least about upsetting or hurting. Not because they don’t have feelings. And not because they don’t get hurt easily.

Indeed, many folks in the crumple zone are actually quite sensitive — to their own emotions and to the ones of those around them.  » Read more

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Polyamory Helped Me Ditch Codependence and Find Healthy Interdependence

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Image by Chris Dart / CC BY

Codependence is an overused term implying that normal partner interdependence is somehow dysfunctional.

The concept and terminology came out of the Alcoholics Anonymous movement; the addicted were seen as trapped in a web of dependency with others (their enablers, or codependents) who made excuses for and assisted the addicts in avoiding the consequences of their addiction,  » Read more

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PQ 13.1 — How do I encourage decision-making participation by all my partners? In what ways do I show my partners they are empowered?

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Image by 2014uknz+ / CC BY

PQ 13.1 — How do I encourage decision-making participation by all my partners? In what ways do I show my partners they are empowered?

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You know. It’s funny. For the longest time, I really felt that it was possible to fix something — anything, really — if I only just worked hard enough.  » Read more

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I’m Married to Him, But I’m Not His Primary

a person dressed in black walking down a brick sidewalk towards a brick building. The ground looks wet. It appears to have just rained. Their umbrella has primary colors on it (red, blue, and yellow).
Image by bazzadarambler / CC BY

Fellow poly Clevelander Ferrett Steinmetz recently published a post called “I’m Married to Her, but I’m Not Her Primary.” What renders him secondary, Ferrett writes in this post, is his wife’s commitment to her children from a previous marriage and how she (understandably) prioritizes that role over their relationship.

It’s a nice piece,  » Read more

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