I’ve been working through something very painful lately. Something that I’ve barely spoken about with anyone. Basically, just my nearest and dearest. And even with them, only sparingly.
Because it’s a mess. And I’m a mess about it.
But I’ve finally gotten to a place where I have enough closure that I can write an article about it, » Read more
The other night I had another one of those dreams.
Ones where I’ve been wrong about someone close to me.
Where they surprise me by pulling a 180 on their previous values system. Start saying or doing the exact opposite of what they’ve been saying for years. Out of the blue. » Read more
It’s a balance I’m yet to master, how to be attached just the right amount and in the just the right ways.
I’m used to being all alone on my own frequency. Used to taking years to wind up to a point where I feel brave enough to speak my truth, only to have it land on other people as absolute nonsense. » Read more
It’s been a bad couple of days. I haven’t been able to be the kind of person I’d like to be. And I know it. It stings.
No one’s holding a grudge about it but me. But I’m good enough at holding grudges against myself for multiple people (unfortunately, this doesn’t count as a polyamorous skill, » Read more
In fifth grade, I was friends with Ashley, the most popular girl at school. Her mother was our girl scout troop leader. Ashley was blonde. Good at sports. Her older sister was going to Dartmouth, a fact Ashley would constantly reveal to any new adult she encountered.
I never quite understood at the time why, » Read more
One of the questions I’m most often asked by monogamous or polycurious people is “How do you have time for it all?”
Typically, my reflex is to dive into some time management principles. Talk about different frameworks that can help you to prioritize (for example, Eisenhower/Covey’s time management matrix). Perhaps I’ll discuss the 80/20 Pareto principle, » Read more
My husband and I are polyamorous. With my husband, Brett† , I co-parent, co-habitate, share finances, own businesses together. With one of my boyfriends, Dale† , I have a newish D/s dynamic that mimics some aspects of a Daddy Dom/little girl relationship.
Because the power exchange dynamic with Dale and I evolved from just bedroom play to something more serious, » Read more
I am currently in a 2-year relationship with a polyamorous, married man. His family (my metamour and their daughter) know me pretty well at this point. For a very long time in the beginning, jealousy wasn’t much of an issue at all, in fact I found some natural (and surprising) good feelings that I didn’t expect about feeling very positively about their success as a family and as a couple. » Read more
Whenever possible, I try to offer advice that applies to all sorts of relationships, whether that’s polyamorous, monogamous, or somewhere in between. And when I’m advising polyamorous folks in particular, I do my best to offer advice that will apply to people in a range of different relationship configurations. Not just help for secondaries, » Read more
PQ 18.3 — Am I prepared to face uncomfortable feelings such as jealousy, insecurity and fear about my partner’s loyalty and to put in the work required to overcome them?
“And what do you think makes someone a bad fit for polyamory?” she asks me.
The question catches me off guard. » Read more