Pain Never Gets Any Better Unless You Confront It & Even Then It Still Takes A Very Long Time

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Image by firemedic58 / CC BY

“What you do,” he said, “is just lie there with your thoughts. Don’t judge them. Just let them happen. Let yourself feel everything you’re feeling. Think everything you’re thinking. Without distraction.”

He didn’t call it mindfulness then. I wouldn’t learn that word until much later. From someone else.

Instead, my first fraught dance with my own mind wouldn’t have a name.  » Read more

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When Worrying, Remember You Don’t Get Credit for Time Served

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Image by Neil Conway / CC BY

I’ll let you in on a little secret: There are times when no matter what you do, an issue is going to be ambiguous. You’re not necessarily going to get clarity or answers that satisfy you completely.

Maybe you’re worried that your partner doesn’t find you attractive anymore. And maybe you’ll find yourself embarking on a fact-finding mission.  » Read more

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If You’ve Ever Been Jealousy Baited, You’re Not Alone. And You’re Not Stupid for Trusting People.

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Image by Valeria P. / CC BY

I’ve been working through something very painful lately. Something that I’ve barely spoken about with anyone. Basically, just my nearest and dearest. And even with them, only sparingly.

Because it’s a mess. And I’m a mess about it.

But I’ve finally gotten to a place where I have enough closure that I can write an article about it,  » Read more

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In Polyamory, Comfort Is a Huge Time-Saver

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Image by Harry Rose / CC BY

One of the questions I’m most often asked by monogamous or polycurious people is “How do you have time for it all?”

Typically, my reflex is to dive into some time management principles. Talk about different frameworks that can help you to prioritize (for example, Eisenhower/Covey’s time management matrix). Perhaps I’ll discuss the 80/20 Pareto principle,  » Read more

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Ask Page: How Do I Help My New Dominant Feel Special?

a bunch of lemons slice stacked on top of each other in an overlapping way so you can see many of them. One slice near the bottom right corner has pink flesh inside instead of yellow and sticks out dramatically
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

My husband and I are polyamorous. With my husband, Brett† , I co-parent, co-habitate, share finances, own businesses together. With one of my boyfriends, Dale† , I have a newish D/s dynamic that mimics some aspects of a Daddy Dom/little girl relationship.

Because the power exchange dynamic with Dale and I evolved from just bedroom play to something more serious,  » Read more

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