Once upon a time, I thought that I would become secure if the right people just said the right words the right number of times. Like a magic spell, an incantation of love, all of the deficiencies within me — my wrongs — would be righted, if someone close to me only told me what I needed to hear. » Read more
I’m told that I come off very secure. It’s a surprise to even people who have known me well that I’ve ever struggled with feelings of insecurity. That I had to intentionally work on learning to cope productively with jealousy.
But I did. I’m doing a lot better with it these days than before, » Read more
Why do people break up? If we were to take direction from movies and TV in answering this question, it would be reasonable to assume that breakups come about because of things like fighting, lying, infidelity, or insecurities constantly rearing their ugly heads.
“You’re Just Jealous”: When Being Open About Your Insecurities Causes Partners to Assume You’re Concern Trolling
It’s been an awfully long time since I’ve had it said to me, but I can still remember the first time I had a partner say “you’re just jealous” in a dismissive way.
At the time, I’d been concerned about something very important. I could see my metamour wasn’t treating our partner very well. » Read more
As I’ve written many times before, I had a difficult transition into polyamory. I didn’t find non-monogamy to be easy.
Maybe for some people it is, but that’s not been my experience. Nor was it the reason I got into it in the first place, that it seemed like it would be easier. » Read more
While these days I’m a full-time writer, I’ve held a number of jobs over the years. A few of them were cushy, but most of them weren’t. I worked as a hotel maid and as a telemarketer. I’ve worked in food service.
And I spent quite a while working retail.
My favorite retail job was working at the Borders Bookstore in Bangor, » Read more
I can tell you almost anything, but I can’t tell you everything.
I wish I could. That it were that simple. I wish that I could just open up and tell you all of it. Everything that’s troubling me. Everything that excites me. The interesting parts, the boring parts. Everything in between.
But I can’t. » Read more
“What you do,” he said, “is just lie there with your thoughts. Don’t judge them. Just let them happen. Let yourself feel everything you’re feeling. Think everything you’re thinking. Without distraction.”
He didn’t call it mindfulness then. I wouldn’t learn that word until much later. From someone else.
Instead, my first fraught dance with my own mind wouldn’t have a name. » Read more
I’ll let you in on a little secret: There are times when no matter what you do, an issue is going to be ambiguous. You’re not necessarily going to get clarity or answers that satisfy you completely.
Maybe you’re worried that your partner doesn’t find you attractive anymore. And maybe you’ll find yourself embarking on a fact-finding mission. » Read more
FOMO: (noun) Fear of Missing Out. Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.
JOMO: (noun) Joy of Missing Out. Feeling of contentment due to staying in and disconnecting, can be considered an act of self-care
Comparison. » Read more