PQ 12.10 — If I start a relationship with someone who is already partnered, what kind of input do I feel is reasonable for their other partners to have in our relationship?

3 segments of rusty chain links on top of a wooden floor
Image by Patrick McConahay / CC BY

PQ 12.10 — If I start a relationship with someone who is already partnered, what kind of input do I feel is reasonable for their other partners to have in our relationship?

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This question sits at the intersection of two separate — but important — issues.

The first is that whenever possible it’s best to stay out of other people’s relationships,  » Read more

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PQ 5.11 — What do I expect of others, and why?

shop sign that reads "Closed. Will return when you least expect it. Thank you! Please come again!"
Image by Ben Husmann / CC BY

PQ 5.11 — What do I expect of others, and why?

Here are a few pieces I’ve written about the tricky nature of expectations:

  1. You Get What You Expect, Kinda: Resilient People Aren’t Always Positive
  2. Happy Poly-Days, Because for Some? Holidays Are Basically the Worst
  3. It’s Not a Cure-All: 8 Things Polyamory Doesn’t Fix

I’ve learned to not expect a lot of people.  » Read more

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You Get What You Expect, Kinda: Resilient People Aren’t Always Positive

a piece of looseleaf paper that says in cursive "hegel. merde." with a pen lying next to it
Image by Margherita Puzzo / CC BY

I Try Smiling

“You get what you expect,” the instructor says.

It’s my first day of community college. We’re sitting in a small room with desks that are at least 30 years old. Mine has vaguely letter-like shapes carved into it. What it says is illegible. It’s a pity, really.  I want somewhere to put my eyes because my anxiety is in rare form.  » Read more

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