I Wonder About People That I Can’t Ever Possibly Know

a misty forest clearing at dusk
Image by Jason Boldero / CC 0

Gnossiene: noun

A moment of awareness that someone you’ve known for years still has a private and mysterious inner life, and somewhere in the hallways of their personality is a door locked from the inside, a stairway leading to a wing of the house that you’ve never fully explored, an unfinished attic that will remain maddeningly unknown to you,  » Read more

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What’s Forgiveness Orientation & How Does It Affect Relationships?

a rock with the English word "Forgiveness" next to the Chinese character for the same word
Image by James_Seattle / CC BY

There’s been a theme lately as I’m listening to people’s troubles and giving out advice.

You can tell a lot about a situation by what their particular forgiveness orientation is, how their forgiveness is balanced between self and others.

In the most simple terms, a forgiveness balance can be expressed with the following equation: Forgiveness of self divided by forgiveness of others.  » Read more

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Accepting Hypocrisy: It’s Humbling But Human for the Shoe to Be on the Other Foot

a surreal photograph with an orange sky and blue-green trees

He walks through the door. A little earlier than I thought. Perhaps 15 minutes before I expected him.

I’m happy to see him, but I’m also mortified. Because he’s caught me just as I’m coming out of the shower. I suppose I’m technically dressed, but not really. Wearing an odd assemblage of clothes (one of my “hobo outfits”) on the way to changing into what I’m actually going to wear.  » Read more

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Real Cheating Is Not Honoring Social Reciprocity: Hypocrisy and Lopsided Consideration

A board game (named Caylus). A single finger is hovering over a game piece as though they're in the act of cheating at it.
Image by Joanna Pędzich-Opioła / CC BY

What man loses by the social contract is his natural liberty and an unlimited right to everything he tries to get and succeeds in getting; what he gains is civil liberty and the proprietorship of all he possesses.

It is in order not to become victim of an assassin that we consent to die if we become assassins.  » Read more

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I Disliked Them the Moment I Met Them: Transference and Jealousy

black & white photo of 3 cows standing in a row
Image by Mathias Ripp / CC BY

Sometimes we meet someone, and for no clear reason, we dislike them instantly. Or we’re incredibly jealous of them. Sometimes it’s both.

We do not come into relationships unbiased. Instead, we enter them as a collection of all of our life experiences. And those we vicariously witness. Through the lives of those close to us.  » Read more

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