In polyamorous circles, hierarchy can sometimes be a dirty word, depending on your audience.
Some folks will get offended at even the mere mention of the word. “I don’t believe in hierarchy,” they’ll say. “It’s always unethical. Always.”
And typically, they’ll stick to this position no matter what anyone else says to them. » Read more
First of all, I want to thank you so much for your blog! I take a lot of support and encouragement from your writing. I especially enjoy your strictly non-dogmatic, personal and individual approach. You have the rare gift of being rational and emotional at the same time. » Read more
I have been reading your blog for a while now. As a polycurious man, I love it. While I’m still yet to have a polyamorous relationship, I love getting a peek behind the scenes for when I (hopefully) one day will.
I’ve read many times that it can be more difficult for polyamorous men than women to find partners when a relationship opens up. » Read more
One night, my boyfriend Rob called me on the phone after his wife Michelle left for the library. It was a low-key conversation. Just chitchat, really. We weren’t even having phone sex or anything. At least not yet, although in recent weeks, we’d fallen into a habit of sliding into phone sex after initial introductions. » Read more
“Are you going to be okay if you see me playing with someone else?” he asks me.
“Of course,” I say. I reiterate to him that I spent several years on the scene before taking a break from public play parties. That I’ve seen partners play with others in the past. » Read more
“I get really uncomfortable when I’m not telling somebody something,” CC says. “It’s a lie. A lie of omission.”
And it’s at that moment I realize that I’m a liar. That we all are.
Because we think in clusters and long strands of ideas. But we speak in single bits. Discrete nodes. » Read more
When many folks think of assertiveness, they think of sender skills. An assertive person is one who communicates their thoughts and feelings confidently. Openly.
And while this is true, it’s not the entire picture. In practice, the most difficult part of assertive communication is the receiver half.
Because an assertive communicator is not only open to speaking their own truths — » Read more
I’ll admit it. I think polyamory is pretty awesome. But what isn’t awesome? Unrealistic expectations.
Unfortunately, a lot of folks new to polyamory approach it expecting it to be a cure-all for their relationship issues.
Here are 8 things that polyamory doesn’t fix:
1. Polyamory Doesn’t Get Rid of Breakups
In fact, » Read more
It’s difficult to know how much to share about what goes on (sexually and otherwise) with one of your partners with another. It’s like titrating the truth, just like you would medicine in a hospital — a truth drip.
On the surface, it seems so easy. But you gotta be careful! You can overdose by saying too much or by saying too little. » Read more
Poly Question 1.5
How important is transparency to me? If I have more than one lover, am I happy with them knowing about each other? If they have other lovers, am I happy knowing them?
The importance of transparency for me is very context dependent.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Sucks
I could never have an ongoing romantic relationship with someone who would not meet Skyspook. » Read more