Polyamorous Hinge Problems: Shifting Gears Quickly

The gearshift and radio of a car. The entire console is glow in the dark, casting a nice eerie red glow.
Image by Michael Hicks / CC BY

People make a lot of assumptions about how polyamory would be a different way to live. Typically they assume it’s something having to do with being more jealous. And I never found that to be the case (and neither has research, which shows that folks in monogamous relationships tend to experience more jealousy than those in consensually non-monogamous ones).  » Read more

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I’m Married to Him, But I’m Not His Primary

a person dressed in black walking down a brick sidewalk towards a brick building. The ground looks wet. It appears to have just rained. Their umbrella has primary colors on it (red, blue, and yellow).
Image by bazzadarambler / CC BY

Fellow poly Clevelander Ferrett Steinmetz recently published a post called “I’m Married to Her, but I’m Not Her Primary.” What renders him secondary, Ferrett writes in this post, is his wife’s commitment to her children from a previous marriage and how she (understandably) prioritizes that role over their relationship.

It’s a nice piece,  » Read more

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Poly Hinges: A Field Guide

close up of a hinge
Image by Lauryn McDowell / CC BY

One thing that is plainly obvious in Poly.Land is that there are certain people who date more than others. Their dance card is fully booked. They meet a new cluster of friends and are suddenly dating two-thirds of them. We call these folks poly hinges.

Technically speaking, a “hinge” is someone who is involved with 2 people who are not involved with each other.  » Read more

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The Curse of Poly Competence

a meme, Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation rubbing his face, with the words "So my work has this cool thing. If you do your job well, you get to do other people's jobs, too!"
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It’s a familiar story – you start a new job. You’re nervous at first because you don’t know how you’re going to master everything they throw your way, but you put in effort, work hard, and persevere. It’s a struggle, but eventually you’ve got the hang of it. It may have felt like forever to you – but everyone’s so impressed by how quickly you picked it up and how well you’re doing.  » Read more

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