We’ll Always Have Heroes Because Even Monkeys Have Celebrities

a group of rhesus macaques in the wild
Image by cattan2011 / CC BY

If there’s one thing I want you to keep in mind today, it’s this: Just because someone is famous, just because someone has a lot of admirers, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t fallible in one way or another.

It’s far too easy to pedestal our leaders. Or to decide that just because someone’s famous that they are in a class all of their own.  » Read more

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The Tyranny of Takebacksies and When Hierarchy Goes Mean

cartoon stick figures playing tug of war. Person on the left is tugging against three people on the right.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Hi Page, 

I have been in a polyamorous relationship for several months now, and everything seemed to be going relatively okay until about a month and a half ago. There were small obstacles along the way, but I was under the impression they’d been overcome.

To start from the beginning: I met my partner Tom† when we ended up sitting next to each other on a train and spoke for the whole ride.  » Read more

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I Learned in Elementary School that People Will Touch Your Body Without Permission

a school classroom with all the chairs set on top of the desks
Image by ajari / CC BY

I learned something in the coat room in elementary school.

If they can, people will touch your body without permission.

Especially if it’s dark. And quick. And there are enough people around that you can’t be sure who exactly touched you. Let alone call them out on it.

Sometimes more than one kid would cop a feel as we shuffled out to meet our teacher,  » Read more

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PQ 11.8 — Will it be possible for the secondary nature of my relationship to evolve into primary, if my partner and I desire that? If not, how will I feel about my relationship remaining secondary long into the future — say, ten or fifteen years?

a healthy vegetable garden with plants spaced a bit apart
Image by Alan Levine / CC BY

PQ 11.8 — Will it be possible for the secondary nature of my relationship to evolve into primary, if my partner and I desire that? If not, how will I feel about my relationship remaining secondary long into the future — say, ten or fifteen years?

*

Human beings are notoriously terrible at predicting the emotional future.  » Read more

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PQ 11.7 — Will the term secondary be applied to my relationship, and if so, do I understand how the primary couple is defining the word? Am I comfortable with the definition?

a very complicated flowchart that is of hierarchy without a company structure, many smiley faces of various colors are connected by a vast network of lines. nothing is really labeled
Image by Jurgen Appelo / CC BY

PQ 11.7 — Will the term secondary be applied to my relationship, and if so, do I understand how the primary couple is defining the word? Am I comfortable with the definition?

*

A new thread appears in one of the poly discussion groups I’m in.  Asking people for their input on what the terms “primary”  » Read more

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PQ 11.3 — Am I open to secondary relationships someday becoming primary relationships, given enough time and investment?

an assortment of Burpee seed packets, including Zinnia, Mammoth Russian sunflowers, Candy pink morning glory, and heavenly blue morning glory
Image by Lori L. Stalteri / CC BY

PQ 11.3 — Am I open to secondary relationships someday becoming primary relationships, given enough time and investment?

*

I remember the first time I planted flowers.

My first grade teacher sent us all home with seed packets. A wildflower variety. I was so excited. I walked to the edge of our property to a bare spot.  » Read more

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PQ 11.2 — Are there specific assets, commitments or people (such as children) I am seeking to protect with a hierarchy? Can I imagine other avenues for achieving that protection?

a castle in the clouds, over an ocean, with a large moon behind it
Image by pumpkincat210 / CC BY

PQ 11.2 — Are there specific assets, commitments or people (such as children) I am seeking to protect with a hierarchy? Can I imagine other avenues for achieving that protection?

*

There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.

-Gilbert K. Chesteron

Minoring in Anxiety

“I’m happy for her,  » Read more

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