If there’s one thing I want you to keep in mind today, it’s this: Just because someone is famous, just because someone has a lot of admirers, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t fallible in one way or another.
It’s far too easy to pedestal our leaders. Or to decide that just because someone’s famous that they are in a class all of their own. » Read more
In polyamorous circles, hierarchy can sometimes be a dirty word, depending on your audience.
Some folks will get offended at even the mere mention of the word. “I don’t believe in hierarchy,” they’ll say. “It’s always unethical. Always.”
And typically, they’ll stick to this position no matter what anyone else says to them. » Read more
I’ve been polyamorous for a decent amount of time now. I love your blog and your books. Thank you for all the time you put into them. I wanted to write to you because I feel like you won’t judge me (something I can’t say for every poly expert out there). » Read more
I have been in a polyamorous relationship for several months now, and everything seemed to be going relatively okay until about a month and a half ago. There were small obstacles along the way, but I was under the impression they’d been overcome.
To start from the beginning: I met my partner Tom† when we ended up sitting next to each other on a train and spoke for the whole ride. » Read more
I learned something in the coat room in elementary school.
If they can, people will touch your body without permission.
Especially if it’s dark. And quick. And there are enough people around that you can’t be sure who exactly touched you. Let alone call them out on it.
Sometimes more than one kid would cop a feel as we shuffled out to meet our teacher, » Read more
PQ 11.8 — Will it be possible for the secondary nature of my relationship to evolve into primary, if my partner and I desire that? If not, how will I feel about my relationship remaining secondary long into the future — say, ten or fifteen years?
Human beings are notoriously terrible at predicting the emotional future. » Read more
PQ 11.7 — Will the term secondary be applied to my relationship, and if so, do I understand how the primary couple is defining the word? Am I comfortable with the definition?
A new thread appears in one of the poly discussion groups I’m in. Asking people for their input on what the terms “primary” » Read more
PQ 11.3 — Am I open to secondary relationships someday becoming primary relationships, given enough time and investment?
I remember the first time I planted flowers.
My first grade teacher sent us all home with seed packets. A wildflower variety. I was so excited. I walked to the edge of our property to a bare spot. » Read more
PQ 11.2 — Are there specific assets, commitments or people (such as children) I am seeking to protect with a hierarchy? Can I imagine other avenues for achieving that protection?
There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.
-Gilbert K. Chesteron
Minoring in Anxiety
“I’m happy for her, » Read more
We are not alone, but are biologically wired and evolutionarily designed to be deeply connected to one another.
I’ve never been able to stop love once it starts. I grow things to their limit. Like an overzealous plant sending out runners in every direction. Choking the garden with roots. » Read more