Life might be a great deal simpler if I were one of those people who feel like I’m owed good things. If I were a person who thinks I’m special by default and therefore should be granted kindness, comfort, and care.
But I’m not. And instead, I find it all too easy to feel guilty when good things happen to me. » Read more
While it’s easy some days to get swallowed up in negativity bias, an innate quality human beings have that make us overly sensitive to the negative (and look past the positive), I’ve always been an unapologetic fan of prosocial deeds.
So much so that one year, I actually made it my New Year’s Resolution to perform one random act of kindness per week — » Read more
“I bet there’s good stuff to eat there,” the voice on the phone says.
I sigh. “Yeah, a ton of restaurants.” Because it’s true. Just like I was amazed by the wide array of offerings available to me when I moved from Central Maine to Cleveland, it’d be hard to not notice how many more restaurants there are in Dallas-Fort Worth, » Read more
I’m a long time reader of your blog and I have a mostly positive question! About feeeeelings. And communication styles.
I’ve currently got two lovely partners, one nesting and one not, and things are going great. Edging towards serious territory even. Nesting partner loves other partner and we’re all really good about the communication thing. » Read more
Justin’s in the kitchen, sitting on the floor. Messing with our shoes. He looks like he’s organizing them on the rack next to the back door. He looks up at me. “Hi sweetie.”
“Hi,” I choke out, my greeting barely audible over the Electric Light Orchestra spilling out of the speaker. I dart back to the living room. » Read more
Recently, I answered a reader letter in an advice column called “I Have My Partner’s Blessing, But I Still Feel Like I’m Cheating. Is This Normal?”
In my response to that letter, I wrote about first night effect. Essentially, first night effect is a phenomenon that many polyamorous folks experience whereby they feel either guilt or shame after their first preapproved nonmonogamous encounter. » Read more
I’ve been polyamorous for about 6 months — well poly in theory anyway. I have mostly been looking until recently. My wife has had more success finding partners, and I’ve mostly just been hanging, going to meetups. But I finally started dating someone, and she’s great. For this letter, » Read more
“Hands Off That Guilt!”
Last week, we posted “Distressed by Another’s Jealousy: How to Deal with Guilt from Hurting a Partner” in response to a reader who wrote in asking for help.
The piece drew a lot of interest. Most of it was positive and thanked us for tackling a common issue that isn’t often addressed by existing poly how-to. » Read more
I enjoy and follow your writings and the recent one about how to know your partner is jealous and not just inventing a concern reminded me that I’ve been trying to find some info on how to deal with it when a partner is jealous.
More specifically, how do I not have anxious and guilty feelings, » Read more
“The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.”
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yup,” Skypook says. “I’m fine.” But it’s in that too quick, all-systems-go kind of way. How people say it when they want you to leave them alone. » Read more