The Problem with “You’re Just Jealous” as a Conversation Ender

a photo of a tabby cat in the close foreground with an out of focus black and brown dog wearing what appears to be a leopard print blanket in the background
Image Source by Jason Riedy

“I wish you’d just own up to what’s really going on here,” he says.

“What?”

“You don’t really think it’s a bad idea. Admit it,” he says. “You’re just jealous.”

I don’t know what to say. I settle on, “That’s not what this is about.”

Because it’s true I’ve had my insecurities in the past regarding him but not to an unusual magnitude.  » Read more

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Polyamory Toolbox: The Good Roommate Standard

2 long-haired black and white cats sitting on a sofa. the one on the left looks sleepy/satisfied, the one on the right is staring straight ahead, with a curious expression on its face
Image by Isaac Wedin / CC BY

When I opened up a relationship that had been monogamous for 8 years, I was prepared to feel jealous. But what I wasn’t prepared for? The radical shift in my thinking about that relationship. We both became much more autonomous. And it was a large adjustment getting used to our increased autonomy.

Prior to discovering polyamory,  » Read more

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