In a recent post, I talked about how confusing the conversations we have around love can be. As I wrote then, part of this confusion is because what we call “love” and what another person calls “love” may very well not be the same thing. And it certainly doesn’t help that one person can talk about many different kinds of love, » Read more
I recently published a piece called “There *Are* Asexual Polyamorous People, You Know.” That article attracted a lot of attention and resulted in many comments and private messages. For the most part, its reception was very positive. I heard from a bunch of folks who were happy to see some ace representation, » Read more
I have a gay male friend who is tall, has a full beard, and is very masculine but often dresses up for house parties in a fabulous dress with matching accessories. The entire glamorous works.
Well, I call him gay. But I think he considers himself Kinsey 5. I faintly recall one time his telling me that he likes boobs and has had a good time in MMF threesomes where he wasn’t directly engaged with the below bits of a lady. » Read more
“How are you holding up?” I ask her.
“I’ll be honest with you,” she says. “It’s not good.”
“It’s so strange. I don’t know why it’s affecting me so much. He’s the one that’s going through the breakup. But I feel like I am, too,” she says. » Read more
Harry: You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I’m saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That’s not true. » Read more
It’s a common rule that a lot of people have when they open up their relationships: No friends.
It’s likely one of those carryovers from traditional dating wisdom. Don’t date friends because most relationships break up, and if you break up with someone, you’re likely to ruin the friendship.
But my dirty secret: I nearly always date friends. » Read more
Part of what can feel daunting when trying to navigate polyamorous relationships is how few cultural models we have for a lot of what happens.
How are we supposed to act when we’re sharing a romantic partner with others? And how should we interact with our metamours (i.e., our partner’s other partners)?
Popular depictions of love triangles are profoundly unhelpful. » Read more
Poly Question 1.2
Do I feel there can be only one “true” love or one “real” soulmate?
“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.”
-Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself”
At 8 years old, » Read more
Some days I walk through public places
and everyone recognizes me
and I wonder how they came to own that part of me—
their memory of me
“the reactionary,” Gino the Wise
“Ugh,” my mom said, frowning at my camera phone. » Read more