It probably should have been a bigger early warning sign when I started dating my first husband. But he really didn’t like my friends.
“Why?” I asked him. “Why don’t you like them?”
He answered this with a shrug. “I just don’t,” he said. “I don’t like spending time around them.” » Read more
“It’s not the drugs,” Kurt said. “It’s the people you meet because of the drugs.”
He was a heavy user and had been for some time. Like many people, when I first met him, I’d pegged him for an addict. Assumed that his use was as simple as that, biochemical dependency. » Read more
I’ve been following your writings and came across something in your “Wedding & Exes” piece. I’m looking for a bit of advice.
In that piece, you mentioned a study which says that poly people are more likely to not cut off communication from their exes versus monogamous people. » Read more
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
I tell him that I don’t feel good. That I feel like something’s chasing me.
I’m not always great at knowing the words for the symptoms I’m having, » Read more
As a person who has been polyamorous for quite a while now, I’m sometimes asked by others how it’s different. And I suppose if you break it down, there are a lot of little differences that stem from within me. Things that tend to bother other people really don’t bother me. I’ve lost all sense of outrage regarding what are popularly regarded as “ » Read more
I read your blog and your book, and I’m hoping you can help me.
I’ve been polyamorous for 2 years. I have a husband. We were married for about 3 years before we opened up. Like you, we were introduced to polyamory because we found out that our friends were polyamorous. » Read more
PQ 10.5 — What happens if the agreement doesn’t work for my partners, or my partners’ partners?
“If Your Calendar Shows That You’re Available, I Expect You to Be Here”
“I looked at your calendar. There wasn’t anything on it,” Michelle said.
“Ah,” I said, not sure where she was going. » Read more
PQ 9.9 — Am I being asked to give up relationships with friends or family?
It’s funny. Back when I became monogamous with Seth, I didn’t give a single thought to my autonomy. When we got together, I basically stepped out of my own life and into his. When he didn’t like one of my friends, » Read more
“Oh shit,” I say. I’ve turned the wrong way. And we’re creeping around the backside of the restaurant instead of escaping the parking lot.
“Ooo, look at him,” Fluffy says. They point to a man standing next to the back door with a cigarette in his hand. Probably a cook on his smoke break. » Read more
It’s a standard piece of dating advice: “Be friends first.”
But it’s not automatically true just because people say it a lot.
Until rather recently I never followed this advice. I thought it inadvisable to be friends first. Maybe even a bit stupid. If I’m physically attracted to someone, why wait to explore that connection? » Read more