I Don’t Want Blind Loyalty

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Image by Keirsten Marie / CC BY

“Aren’t you upset?” they said “Don’t you expect your friend to take your side?”

I shook my head no. “No, not automatically. Not if they don’t agree with me or what I’m doing.”

Blind Loyalty and Self-Satisfaction

I think a lot about loyalty. It’s often put forth as a virtue, right up there with honesty.  » Read more

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You Can Date Your Friends, But Don’t Date All of Your Friends

the silhouettes of a few dozen people standing on a beach holding hands
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Sometimes people ask me how I got into writing books about relationships, blogging for a large audience, giving advice.

People always seem to be hoping for some backstory in which I had some kind of grand vision. In which I shot forward with the unbridled determination of an activist and an ideologue for kink and non-monogamy.  » Read more

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Kinksters Are Everywhere

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Image by reynermedia / CC BY

It’s a funny thing, being a kinkster. Because the kink scene brings people together who might otherwise never meet. I know people from every walk of life. Baristas who are just graduating from college and still living with their parents. Middle aged doctors, lawyers, executives. Retired small business owners. Everyone in between.

And I’ve reliably found that it’s how many friends I have —  » Read more

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How Being Polyamorous Can Be Different: Unorthodox Friendships & Support

four round fruits wearing snow hats with smiles drawn on them and googly eyes placed so they have faces. The snow hats are khaki colored and have pom poms. The fruits appear to be, from left to right, a nectarine, an orange, a lemon, and a tangerine.
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As a person who has been polyamorous for quite a while now, I’m sometimes asked by others how it’s different. And I suppose if you break it down, there are a lot of little differences that stem from within me. Things that tend to bother other people really don’t bother me. I’ve lost all sense of outrage regarding what are popularly regarded as “  » Read more

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