I Don’t Want Blind Loyalty

a person peeking out from underneath a blindfold
Image by Keirsten Marie / CC BY

“Aren’t you upset?” they said “Don’t you expect your friend to take your side?”

I shook my head no. “No, not automatically. Not if they don’t agree with me or what I’m doing.”

Blind Loyalty and Self-Satisfaction

I think a lot about loyalty. It’s often put forth as a virtue, right up there with honesty.  » Read more

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You Can Date Your Friends, But Don’t Date All of Your Friends

the silhouettes of a few dozen people standing on a beach holding hands
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Sometimes people ask me how I got into writing books about relationships, blogging for a large audience, giving advice.

People always seem to be hoping for some backstory in which I had some kind of grand vision. In which I shot forward with the unbridled determination of an activist and an ideologue for kink and non-monogamy.  » Read more

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Kinksters Are Everywhere

an empty boardroom
Image by reynermedia / CC BY

It’s a funny thing, being a kinkster. Because the kink scene brings people together who might otherwise never meet. I know people from every walk of life. Baristas who are just graduating from college and still living with their parents. Middle aged doctors, lawyers, executives. Retired small business owners. Everyone in between.

And I’ve reliably found that it’s how many friends I have —  » Read more

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