“Single” Doesn’t Have to Mean “Lonely” or “Unhappy,” Especially When Your Friends Rock

an illustration of two people viewed from behind. They have arms over the other's shoulders in a supportive way.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Amatonormativity: (noun) the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in the sense that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types

We’ve talked many times on this site about amatonormativity.  » Read more

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I Don’t Want Blind Loyalty

a person peeking out from underneath a blindfold
Image by Keirsten Marie / CC BY

“Aren’t you upset?” they said “Don’t you expect your friend to take your side?”

I shook my head no. “No, not automatically. Not if they don’t agree with me or what I’m doing.”

Blind Loyalty and Self-Satisfaction

I think a lot about loyalty. It’s often put forth as a virtue, right up there with honesty.  » Read more

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You Can Date Your Friends, But Don’t Date All of Your Friends

the silhouettes of a few dozen people standing on a beach holding hands
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Sometimes people ask me how I got into writing books about relationships, blogging for a large audience, giving advice.

People always seem to be hoping for some backstory in which I had some kind of grand vision. In which I shot forward with the unbridled determination of an activist and an ideologue for kink and non-monogamy.  » Read more

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