In a recent post, I talked about how confusing the conversations we have around love can be. As I wrote then, part of this confusion is because what we call “love” and what another person calls “love” may very well not be the same thing. And it certainly doesn’t help that one person can talk about many different kinds of love, » Read more
“It’s not the drugs,” Kurt said. “It’s the people you meet because of the drugs.”
He was a heavy user and had been for some time. Like many people, when I first met him, I’d pegged him for an addict. Assumed that his use was as simple as that, biochemical dependency. » Read more
I’ve changed a lot over the years. I used to think that when you loved someone it meant that their fears took precedence over your own. And that you should do anything to keep from hurting them.
I still have an old journal from my first semester at college (1999). It has a fabric yellow cover, » Read more
“So how was your date?” I ask him.
“I had a good time,” he says. “Nothing kinky or sexy happened. No scenes. But I liked the show that we watched.”
“Well, that’s good,” I say.
“I’m trying not to take it as a bad sign. Just let things unfold. » Read more
It’s a common rule that a lot of people have when they open up their relationships: No friends.
It’s likely one of those carryovers from traditional dating wisdom. Don’t date friends because most relationships break up, and if you break up with someone, you’re likely to ruin the friendship.
But my dirty secret: I nearly always date friends. » Read more
Poly Question 1.2
Do I feel there can be only one “true” love or one “real” soulmate?
“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.”
-Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself”
At 8 years old, » Read more
Last week was pretty excellent. Beginning of the week, we spent one evening hang/cuddle/flirting with our super rad lesbian couple friends. And then since Spooky was out of town for a few days at a conference, I managed some quality alone/cat time before going out to a bar with a friend that I hadn’t seen for some time and was able to meet new people that she knows. » Read more
“Page, you stupid fucking whore, I love you, cut it out!” J yelled at me.
I was sinking into the grass, full of innumerable shots. “No, leave me alone, I’m going to stay out here until I freeze.” At least that’s what I meant to say. I’m sure it was slurred, smeared, obscured somehow. » Read more
- A friend who does a fantastic “bitch face”
- A friend who is a lawyer, works for a lawyer, or has general legal savvy
- Someone who is hilarious when you get a few drinks into them
- A friend with much better fashion sense than you have
- Someone with fabulous taste in shoes who shares your shoe size
- An expert in navigating public transportation
- Someone with excellent proofreading skills
- Someone who will tell you that you’re not crazy to feel a certain way when you really need someone to
- Someone not afraid to tell you “no”
“Keep your eye on the intuitions, and don’t take people’s moral arguments at face value. They’re mostly post hoc constructions made up on the fly, crafted to advance one or more strategic objectives.”
-Jonathan Haidt, The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion
A month or so ago, » Read more