I’ve been meaning to finish this particular post for a while, but I’ve held off.
This is primarily because I try very hard to not reward behavior that I don’t want to see again. The reason for this is simple. It’s essentially the closest thing to a fundamental rule in psychology: What you reward, » Read more
I’m not sure exactly where I heard it first, but it was all the rage during the first year or two after I joined FetLife: “Be a credit to your kink.”
Practically everyone was writing about it back then, in some way, shape, or form.
The basic premise of this catchphrase was this: If you’re doing something considered beyond the sociosexual pale, » Read more
A few months ago, I fell in love with a new woman. I wrote about our first kiss in a piece called “Odds Are You’ll Break My Heart, But It’s Worth It.”
I’m usually fairly neurotic when I get into new relationships. Wondering if I’m doing the right thing by opening myself up to a new person. » Read more
I’ve been interested in polyamory for a long time, and I have a question: How do you find partners? How do you meet polyamorous people?
A lot of people who are looking to date polyamorously will seek out new partners via a traditional dating platform like OkCupid or Tinder. » Read more
I cross-post a fair number of Poly.Land articles to FetLife, which is basically Facebook for kinksters.
When you post a new writing on FetLife, it goes to a special category called Fresh & Pervy. There, other users can browse the newest content that people have posted (writing, pictures, videos).
These days I have a large readership on FetLife that is very active and engaged (you rock!), » Read more
PQ 10.5 — What happens if the agreement doesn’t work for my partners, or my partners’ partners?
“If Your Calendar Shows That You’re Available, I Expect You to Be Here”
“I looked at your calendar. There wasn’t anything on it,” Michelle said.
“Ah,” I said, not sure where she was going. » Read more
So You Want to Open Your Relationship, What Next?
I had read all about New Relationship Energy (NRE) before diving in to polyamory. Those new, shiny feelings that happen when you first start dating someone. When your partner feels NRE for someone new, it can be deeply terrifying. Especially when you’re new to polyamory and in a relationship that was previously monogamous and not yet Poly Road Tested. » Read more
I really enjoyed your recent post on viewing monogamy and polyamory as a spectrum. It made me realize I don’t know a lot about mono/poly. What are some common reasons people are in mono/poly relationships? Can it work? Can it be fair? Or does the monogamous person just suffer all the time? » Read more
Skyspook: You say you don’t have strong opinions, but you do.
Me: Oh yeah?
Skyspook: It’s because it’s something you value about yourself , that you’re unopinionated, that you don’t have preferences. Even though you do.
It’s interesting what Fetlife does and doesn’t think is important to announce to one’s friends stream. » Read more
‘Help – My Cat Peed on my Corset’ was started in Domestic Servitude
When you sign on to be a pervert, they never tell you this is how your life will go, that you’ll be sitting there minding your own business, reading a play, watching old episodes of The Twilight Zone on Netflix, » Read more