PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?

a child in a red jacket and black pants wearing a white, pink, and black bike helmet. The child is sitting on a bike with training wheels cycling down a tree-lined street
Image by MIKI Yoshihito / CC BY

PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?

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It’s not at all uncommon when someone is new to polyamory for them to want additional considerations in place, measures that, in effect,  » Read more

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I’m Married to Him, But I’m Not His Primary

a person dressed in black walking down a brick sidewalk towards a brick building. The ground looks wet. It appears to have just rained. Their umbrella has primary colors on it (red, blue, and yellow).
Image by bazzadarambler / CC BY

Fellow poly Clevelander Ferrett Steinmetz recently published a post called “I’m Married to Her, but I’m Not Her Primary.” What renders him secondary, Ferrett writes in this post, is his wife’s commitment to her children from a previous marriage and how she (understandably) prioritizes that role over their relationship.

It’s a nice piece,  » Read more

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The Torture of Compliments

In response to an essay my friend Betty C wrote over at Fetlife musing on the concept of “forced adoration” as a shadow twin to forced humiliation, a relatively common BDSM practice, a writing that quickly made Kinky and Popular (a kind of greatest hits stream for the kinky social network), my friend Ferrett made this blog post ruminating on the importance of being able to accept compliments and promptly declared yesterday “National Accept-the-Niceness Day.”

In the writing,  » Read more

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Bad Poly: A Case Study

video game screen with green text that reds "Game Over. Continue?" with options of "Yes" or "No" - "Yes" is currently selected.

How does a person who is polyamorous in spirit end up not seeking other partners for a great length of time, essentially becoming monogamous in practice?

To put it mildly, I was party to some truly bad poly. And despite whose “fault” you think the whole thing was when the dust settled (I personally believe we all fucked up to varying degrees),  » Read more

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