“That’s Not Poly”: Polyamorous Sex Negativity and the Relationship Escalator

a rainbow escalator (used to signify the diversity of relationships that are possible if we get away from sex negativity in polyamory)
Image by Graham C99 / CC BY

Polyamorous Controversy Over “Benefits”

As readers responded to our recent post 7 Common Myths About Being Polyamorous on social media, one debunked myth quickly emerged as the most controversial:

4. If you have flings, you’re not polyamorous.

Some other folks may feel differently about this, but for me polyamory is about radical openness to whatever happens to develop.  » Read more

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Nobody’s Pizza Chef

pizza being made

On the rare occasions that I happen to talk to vanilla people about BDSM, it’s always quite eye opening.  One thing I hear a lot is they could see themselves enjoying giving such a beating or doling out orders, that it seems fun. But getting a beating or following orders…? Dream on, Pokemon.  » Read more

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Love Threesomes, Hate the Patriarchy

the bisexual pride flag, red, purple, and blue

I really love threesomes. Really, really love threesomes. Well, threesomes, foursomes, moresomes. Pretty much any configuration that has me with one guy and at least one girl, I’m so down for. One of the most interesting products of taking the plunge into polyamory in 2009 is that it made it really difficult to compartmentalize my bisexuality into the straight and lesbian bins that monogamy seemed to sort my desires into by default,  » Read more

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Jankuary

a brick wall that has "JANKY" painted on it

Photo by Daquella Manera / CC BY

Janky:

(adjective) inferior quality; held in low social regard; old and dilapidated; refers almost exclusively to inanimate material objects, not to people

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The inaugural month of our return to poly life has come and gone.  » Read more

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On Gender Supremacy

I keep running into one disturbing trend as I explore the Master/slave community and Skyspook and I experiment with the dynamic: Male supremacy.

I know, I know. I am a female-bodied person kneeling before a male-bodied person. I call him “Sir,” follow orders, consent as he beats me, degrades me, uses me for his own sexual pleasure.  » Read more

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Mmmm… Delicious, Delicious Whore Pills

Stop worrying about how much sex young women are having. Seriously.

When we judge young women predominantly based on their sexual activity or inactivity as virtuous or loose, responsible or irresponsible, ethical or unethical, we shift focus away from the rest of the values and behaviors we should be teaching them: Self-determination, self-compassion,  » Read more

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