Pain Never Gets Any Better Unless You Confront It & Even Then It Still Takes A Very Long Time

a lit candle burning
Image by firemedic58 / CC BY

“What you do,” he said, “is just lie there with your thoughts. Don’t judge them. Just let them happen. Let yourself feel everything you’re feeling. Think everything you’re thinking. Without distraction.”

He didn’t call it mindfulness then. I wouldn’t learn that word until much later. From someone else.

Instead, my first fraught dance with my own mind wouldn’t have a name.  » Read more

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8 Lessons That I Learned From Both Polyamory and Kink

a fantasy portrait of a woman peering through water or clouds with a contemplative look on her face with both hands placed on her head
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I didn’t open up my marriage over a decade ago with an eye toward exploring kink. But that’s nonetheless what happened. After about a year of dating polyamorously, I eventually ended up with a girlfriend who knew some folks in the kink scene and had a strong kinky streak herself.

It was a surprising turn of events at the time.  » Read more

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PQ 8.7 — Do I think that if my partner has sex with someone “better in bed” than I am, she won’t want to have sex with me anymore or won’t need me anymore?

A bed with a white comforter and two pillows. The left pillow has a scene of what looks like a young girl and a horse printed on it. The right pillow is burgundy colored. There's a patch of rainbow light streaming across the middle of the bed.
Image by Jared Tarbell / CC BY

PQ 8.7 — Do I think that if my partner has sex with someone “better in bed” than I am, she won’t want to have sex with me anymore or won’t need me anymore?

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Skyspook comes home from his date, glowing. I know what he’s been up to. Because he’s got that “shimmer”  » Read more

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