The Moment When I Realized I Couldn’t Become Impossible to Disappoint

someone limboing under a limbo pole while others onlook
Image by Paul Sableman / CC BY

I’m sitting in the midst of yet another week where folks seem hellbent on limboing under my already perilously low expectations.

I’ve heard it said so many times, typically by someone smug and tipping an imaginary or real hat, as they intone words they act like they made up but are just parroting.  » Read more

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Turns Out a Lot of Friends With Benefits Want the Connection to Turn Romantic

an exclamation point

Ah, the friends with benefits (FWB) relationship… Just invoking it can cause sharp reactions in people. The label has a rather storied history, one that can be quite divisive, with many people saying they’d never pursue one and other people saying it’s a form of connection they prefer.

Still others say that they don’t do friends with benefits and go on to describe a situation that sounds remarkably like a traditional FWB setup,  » Read more

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There’s Something Magical About That Person Who Raises Your Standards

a burgundy stoneware cup of coffee on a saucer with a spoon next to it. In the foam of the latte is a heart

I’ve Been Drinking Coffee Since I Was Nine

I drink the best coffee now. Kona beans ground and brewed in a two-in-one machine. The results splashed with heavy cream. Even holding the cup is a familiar kind of comfort. The warmth radiating through my entire hand.

I’m married to someone who doesn’t even drink coffee,  » Read more

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Disappointment Lives in the Space Between Fantasy and Reality

a concrete train platform. It has the following stamped on it in blue letters "BEWARE GAP WHEN BOARDING"
Image by Laurence Grayson / CC BY

Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won’t find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults.  » Read more

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Anxiety Says, “Save Often. You Never Know When There Will Be a Boss Fight.”

a person wearing a Moogle costume (from the Final Fantasy series). Moogles are fuzzy white creatures with a big red nose and a big red ball on top of their head connected by a flexible wire (kind of like a single antenna with a ball on it)
Image by Andrew Evans / CC BY

For a while I was really into Let’s Play videos, playthroughs of games accompanied by the gamer’s color commentary. The best LPs are hilarious, and oddly like hanging out with a friend who is both wittier and better at games than you are.

“Page, you could never do a Let’s Play,” my friend John told me.  » Read more

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PQ 5.11 — What do I expect of others, and why?

shop sign that reads "Closed. Will return when you least expect it. Thank you! Please come again!"
Image by Ben Husmann / CC BY

PQ 5.11 — What do I expect of others, and why?

Here are a few pieces I’ve written about the tricky nature of expectations:

  1. You Get What You Expect, Kinda: Resilient People Aren’t Always Positive
  2. Happy Poly-Days, Because for Some? Holidays Are Basically the Worst
  3. It’s Not a Cure-All: 8 Things Polyamory Doesn’t Fix

I’ve learned to not expect a lot of people.  » Read more

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