Once upon a time, I blamed myself for your every bad mood.
Whether you said so or not, every time you were sour, salty, tired, or crabby, I took it as a sign that I had done something wrong.
That I had failed you somehow.
Which is funny now to think about it, » Read more
Sometimes I see other people weighing the pros and cons of a big change. Coming up with lists. Emotionally processing for months before they make that big decision: To do or not to do — that is the question.
I’ve noticed most of the time that they don’t. They stick with the status quo. » Read more
[Description of a complex social situation.]
Am I wrong for feeling [emotion]? Should I feel a different way?
Feelings are never right or wrong. They just are. You get to feel what you feel.
Now, when we take actions based on our feelings, » Read more
There are few things in this world that are as attention-getting as a crying baby.
Babies cry as a form of communication. It’s one of the only ways they have.
And when a baby cries, you don’t always know exactly why. Is it because they’re gravely ill? Are they hungry? Do they need to be changed? » Read more
“There are certain children who are told they are too sensitive, and there are certain adults who believe sensitivity is a problem that can be fixed in the way that crooked teeth can be fixed and made straight. And when these two come together you get a fairytale, a kind of story with hopelessness in it. » Read more
“Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.”
-Erica Jong, Fear of Flying
When we become jealous, the source is often so difficult to pin down. Emotions are complicated, sure, but it’s not just that. We’re also not that great at identifying emotions when we have them. » Read more
Key Things to Keep in Mind About Happiness
(from Stumbling on Happiness by Dan Gilbert)
1) We often exaggerate in imagining the long-term emotional effects certain events will have on us.
2) Most of us tend to have a basic level of happiness which we revert to eventually. » Read more
I grew up in a house where most of the conflict was very quiet. When nasty things were said, it was often in a very calm tone of voice. My mother had one negative emotion word she used all the time. It was “mad.” My dad wasn’t around much because he put in long hours and traveled for work, » Read more
Staying positive is my major goal — if I were a video game protagonist that would be the main quest that advances the plot. However, I have noticed the maximum depth of existential angst of which I am capable steadily increases year by year. On the same hand, so does joy. It’s curious, this parameter growth. » Read more
I’ve known more than a couple folks in my day who prided themselves on being supremely rational, in control, unemotional. They were stoics. They thought they were tough.
All went well until they hit a snag, encountered a conflict. And then it became painfully obvious that they were full of it.
This is because avoiding emotions can cause them to come out sideways later. » Read more