I recently covered a study on pronoun use and attachment styles for Psyched for the Weekend, a recurring feature in which I geek out with brief takes about some of my favorite psychological studies and concepts.
As part of that article, I posted a quiz that you can take to discover your own attachment style. » Read more
We all mess up from time to time. We’re human. And it can be especially hard getting called out when we make a mistake, doubly so when it’s by someone we care about. But if we do hurt someone we’re close to, it’s good for them to tell us so we can do better.
Except sometimes the criticism isn’t valid. » Read more
“You are right, and I hate that you’re right, but you are, and I don’t know what to do with that.”
I think or say this more often that I would like to. Usually it’s when I’m talking to my husband, and it always underscores to me that while I have done a lot of work on myself the past few years, » Read more
Much has been made recently of gaslighting, and it’s a very important concept to keep track of, boundary policing being of paramount importance especially in those who have multiple relationships. Here’s a good essay on gaslighting: http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2011/11/02/on-gasslighting/
Briefly: Gaslighting is a form of manipulation in which the target is continually forced to question their own sanity. » Read more
“Would you be okay with dating someone who was abused?”
“Of course,” most people answer without hesitation. “I’m not going to hold that against them. Why would I?”
Except it’s not about stigma. It’s not about the fact that somehow something bad that happened to a person may have ostensibly “tainted” them, » Read more
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Even though I’ve never had a problem with alcoholism per se (although I do concede that I enjoy liquor on occasion), » Read more
The last few years of our marriage, Ex-Husband used to say that people were taken with me only because they didn’t know me very well, that the problems between the two of us were caused by his knowing “the true me,” and that after any significant length of time anyone I was with romantically would have similar complaints and that I’d run into the same problems over and over again. » Read more
Gaslighting: A common form of brainwashing in which an abuser tries to falsely convince the victim that the victim is defective, for any purpose whatsoever, such as making the victim more pliable and easily controlled, or making the victim more emotional and therefore more needy and dependent.
Here is an excellent article on gaslighting that details how insidious and innocent-seeming these manipulations can seem, » Read more