Sometimes I think life would be simpler if attention were more straightforward. If attention were just attention, regardless of where it came from. And all attention were the same.
If when we were feeling lonely or unwanted, it were always a simple matter of having any human connection. If it could be fixed by someone — » Read more
Look, I’ll just say it. Some people are really bad at picking romantic partners. What drives interpersonal attraction is often mysterious, hard to pin down. Perhaps it’s pheromones. Maybe it’s something within our genes deciding that we’d make good offspring with THAT PERSON OVER THERE (a phenomenon that strangely occurs even when it’s not biologically possible to bear children with a partner for whatever reason). » Read more
Since I’ve studied linguistics and particularly have enjoyed psycholinguistics (a field of study sometimes also known as the psychology of language), I am not one of those people who fly around everywhere correcting everyone else’s grammar.
I’m instead more interested in how language is used in everyday life (whether or not that lines up with the correct way to structure communication). » Read more
I’m amazed that this is still happening to me. That I’m still getting this opening line that I’ve heard so many times:
Hey you, want to get to know each other better?
The stranger offers up chat info.
“How would you possibly get to know me any better?” » Read more
One of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn was that there are people out there who don’t treat other people like they’re people. Instead, they treat them like pets.
And not the way that a responsible pet owner would.
Instead, they’re more like those people who get a pet thinking it’ll be fun to have something cute live with them. » Read more
As I wrote in the last installment of this series, science’s role is to test hypotheses and uncover the truth. Sometimes this uncovered truth is surprising. Other times it’s a big duh, “Well thanks for the info, Captain Obvious” kind of moment.
Frankly, reality doesn’t care as much about our biases as we do. » Read more
Have you ever emerged from a very difficult relationship, swearing off ever dating someone like that again, only to find yourself later gravitating towards people who share a lot in common with your ex?
I sure have. And at that point, it becomes a mental wrestling match where I weigh the pros and cons and try to remind myself that people can have similar characteristics and yet not carry the same baggage or engage in the same difficult behaviors. » Read more
One woman pushed hard for labels.
The other didn’t even want to go there. Wasn’t looking for anything serious, she said.
They sounded like they were looking for drastically different things. And yet they both dropped off the face of the earth so easily.
One abruptly sent a breakup text full of cliches — » Read more
Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.
Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Their regular blog is Eclectic Discourse (where pith goes to die; in-depth looks at awkward topics).
Here’s what they wrote for us today:
Finding Something Problematic Tells Me More About You
As someone who does the delicate dance between the worlds of social justice and diversity and inclusion, » Read more
In an earlier piece, I wrote about the homing pigeon effect, i.e., “good things are hard to screw up.”
Good relationships typically feel very easy in the beginning. A mix of the biochemical attachment cocktail of New Relationship Energy and actual compatibility washes over any small flaws that would otherwise jump right out. » Read more