Beware of People Who Date Like Irresponsible Pet Owners

closeup of a sad dog waiting for its owner to return
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

One of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn was that there are people out there who don’t treat other people like they’re people. Instead, they treat them like pets.

And not the way that a responsible pet owner would.

Instead, they’re more like those people who get a pet thinking it’ll be fun to have something cute live with them.  » Read more

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Yikes! Apparently A Third of Women Have Dated Men Just for the Free Food.

a dinner plate featuring steak, lobster, asparagus, and micro greens
Image by bloomsburys / CC BY

As I wrote in the last installment of this series, science’s role is to test hypotheses and uncover the truth. Sometimes this uncovered truth is surprising. Other times it’s a big duh, “Well thanks for the info, Captain Obvious” kind of moment.

Frankly, reality doesn’t care as much about our biases as we do.  » Read more

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Yes, You Probably DO Have a “Type”

illustration of 3 identical looking people side by side. In this case, it appears to be woman wearing sunglasses and a sun hat and a swim top and jean shorts
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Have you ever emerged from a very difficult relationship, swearing off ever dating someone like that again, only to find yourself later gravitating towards people who share a lot in common with your ex?

I sure have. And at that point, it becomes a mental wrestling match where I weigh the pros and cons and try to remind myself that people can have similar characteristics and yet not carry the same baggage or engage in the same difficult behaviors.  » Read more

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When “Problematic” Becomes Problematic: Identity Assumptions, Dissonance, and Confessions

a blackboard with a bunch of mathematical formulas and graphs written on it in chalk
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Their regular blog is Eclectic Discourse (where pith goes to die; in-depth looks at awkward topics).

Here’s what they wrote for us today:

Finding Something Problematic Tells Me More About You

As someone who does the delicate dance between the worlds of social justice and diversity and inclusion,  » Read more

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When You’re Used to Bad Relationships, It’s Easy for Something to Feel “Too Good to Be True”

Two equestrian riders, on horseback, in low tide reflections at sunset on Morro Strand State Beach 29 Oct. 2008. Michael "Mike" L. Baird Canon SD950 point-and-shoot snapshot. This photo has some Lightroom 2 gradient treatment applied: gold bottom-to -center; blue top-to-center toning.
Image by Mike Baird / CC BY

In an earlier piece, I wrote about the homing pigeon effect, i.e., “good things are hard to screw up.”

Good relationships typically feel very easy in the beginning. A mix of the biochemical attachment cocktail of New Relationship Energy and actual compatibility washes over any small flaws that would otherwise jump right out.  » Read more

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Monogamy as a Choice Rather Than a Default: Do We Really Need Yet Another Way to Be Incompatible?

a black and white photograph of 3 individuals sitting/crouching against what appears to be the front wall of a building outside. The first two going left to right have their hair in their faces/eyes. The one of hte right is staring straight forward and appears to be mid-laugh.
Image by TarasTarasov / CC BY

Hi Page,

I’ve been reading your blog for several months now. I like your writing because I feel like you talk about polyamory and monogamy in ways that are realistic and like you can understand a person pursuing either relationship style, so long as people are treating each other in a healthy way.   » Read more

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