Not Permission, Not Chaos: Toward a Buy-In Model of Polyamory

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Image by Omran Jamal / CC BY

It can be a difficult balance to strike in polyamory: How to add new partners to an existing relationship system without upsetting the relationships that are already in place.

A number of common strategies exist. Some relationship systems have extensive permission structures in place. Existing partners are consulted and each is called upon to approve or veto potential new relationships.  » Read more

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PQ 10.5 — What happens if the agreement doesn’t work for my partners, or my partners’ partners?

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Image by Karyn Christner / CC BY

PQ 10.5 — What happens if the agreement doesn’t work for my partners, or my partners’ partners?

“If Your Calendar Shows That You’re Available, I Expect You to Be Here”

“I looked at your calendar. There wasn’t anything on it,” Michelle said.

“Ah,” I said, not sure where she was going.  » Read more

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PQ 9.5 — Is someone threatening my well-being, safety or livelihood?

screenshot of 2 people texting. 1: Morning sunshine 2: Good morning baby. I love you. 1: Love you too! 2: Have a good day 1: I hope you do too. 2: Thanks! You are the best boyfriend ever 1: Naw, I'm just in love.
Image by Elizabeth K / CC BY

PQ 9.5 — Is someone threatening my well-being, safety or livelihood?

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Threatening well-being, safety or livelihood? That sounds fairly extreme now, doesn’t it?

And yet — as in PQ 9.1, it’s important to note that sometimes these threats onset in rather insidious ways. That’s the tricky thing about abusive relationships.  » Read more

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“Hands Off That Guilt!”: Emotional Loan Sharks and Guilt Without an Expiration Date

a picture of a shark swimming through the ocean, taken from under the water
Image by Allan Lee / CC BY

“Hands Off That Guilt!”

Last week, we posted “Distressed by Another’s Jealousy: How to Deal with Guilt from Hurting a Partner” in response to a reader who wrote in asking for help.

The piece drew a lot of interest. Most of it was positive and thanked us for tackling a common issue that isn’t often addressed by existing poly how-to.  » Read more

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