PQ 18.8 — Can I build a relationship that respects the agency not only of each of us, but of others who are involved as well?
“You know, it’s funny,” I say to Justin as we’re out taking a walk together. “Sometimes I’ll get asked questions about you when I do interviews. » Read more
PQ 14.9 — Has anyone been harmed by this agreement?
Godzilla rampages through the city, toppling buildings, pulling down high-voltage power lines. Electricity spits along the pavement like an exclamation point.
Godzilla beats his chest. Roars.
Under his gigantic feet, citizens scurry every which way. » Read more
It can be a difficult balance to strike in polyamory: How to add new partners to an existing relationship system without upsetting the relationships that are already in place.
A number of common strategies exist. Some relationship systems have extensive permission structures in place. Existing partners are consulted and each is called upon to approve or veto potential new relationships. » Read more
PQ 13.2 — If I feel a desire to restrict relationships between my partners and their partners, what underlying need am I trying to meet?
I used to spend a lot of time when I was a kid thinking about magic. It was all the rage in middle school especially. » Read more
PQ 12.10 — If I start a relationship with someone who is already partnered, what kind of input do I feel is reasonable for their other partners to have in our relationship?
This question sits at the intersection of two separate — but important — issues.
The first is that whenever possible it’s best to stay out of other people’s relationships, » Read more
PQ 9.5 — Is someone threatening my well-being, safety or livelihood?
Threatening well-being, safety or livelihood? That sounds fairly extreme now, doesn’t it?
And yet — as in PQ 9.1, it’s important to note that sometimes these threats onset in rather insidious ways. That’s the tricky thing about abusive relationships. » Read more
“Hands Off That Guilt!”
Last week, we posted “Distressed by Another’s Jealousy: How to Deal with Guilt from Hurting a Partner” in response to a reader who wrote in asking for help.
The piece drew a lot of interest. Most of it was positive and thanked us for tackling a common issue that isn’t often addressed by existing poly how-to. » Read more
PQ 4.3 — Are there specific kinds of relationships that I know I’m looking for? Kinds that I know I don’t want?
“Wait a second,” I said when I saw this question. “Haven’t I answered this one before?”
And looking back at the index of questions, » Read more
PQ 3.2 — Have I sought input from everyone affected? Have I obtained their consent where my decision overlaps their personal boundaries? (Chapter 3 questions are all asked in the context of ones to ask to evaluate whether your choices are ethical.)
This is truly one of the trickiest parts of polyamory — » Read more