3 Reasons Why I Prefer to Call It Consensual Non-Monogamy

an assortment of 4 various-sized Lego hearts. Their colors: white, red, yellow, blue.
Image by Bill Ward / CC BY

Hi Page,

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about ethical non-monogamy as a way of describing polyamory and other forms of open relationships. I’ve noticed you don’t do that. Instead, you say “consensual non-monogamy.” Why? 

1. Ethics are subjective.

ethical (adjective) – relating to moral principles or the branch of knowledge dealing with these,  » Read more

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Why Does No Mean Something Different Based on Who Says It?

The word "NO" painted in white paint on concrete
Image by Dan Brady / CC BY

Today’s article is a guest writing from Justin Case.

Geek by day, geek by night, Justin Case grew up in a town without stoplights and developed his impressive mechanical skills by taking apart toasters when he was still in diapers (thankfully, he survived those early experiments and is still with us). An engineer who specializes in systems,  » Read more

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“I Was Slapped in the Face During Sex Without My Consent. Was I Raped?”

an assortment of dark question marks on a slightly dark background. three of the question marks are glowing orange
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Bit of a personal one, but here goes.

I was in a relationship with a guy who was kinky and poly. I was definitely curious to the kink side of things. I’d also had some abuse in my background. My “friend” and I talked about all of this. I don’t know if me being curious and interested amounts to consent,  » Read more

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3 Differences Between a Dominant & Someone Who Just Uses it as an Excuse to Be Controlling

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Image by Phil Long / CC BY

What is the difference between a dominant and someone who just uses it as an excuse to be controlling?

*

1. Consent Is an Important Part of Dominance.

The bottom line is very simple: It boils down to consent.

A healthy D/s relationship happens between two people who are willing participants.  » Read more

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Consent Culture Is Hard, Yo.

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Image by skipper. / CC BY

Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

They previously contributed three articles to Poly.Land:

  1. “Is There a Right Time or Way to Break Up a Relationship?” 
  2. “I Was Treated as a Disease Vector: Why There Are So Few Gay Men in Pansexual Polyamory”
  3. “Being Single Sucks,
  4.   » Read more

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The Kind of Exhibitionism I’ve Grown Leery Of

an ink drawing of an egg-shaped half-human, half-panda kind of creature wearing a pair of underpants patterned with the same creature all over them
Image by Laura Megumi Thatcher / CC BY

I’ve been on the kink scene formally for about a decade now. And overall, it’s been a very positive experience. I’ve developed relationships (friendly, romantic, and otherwise) that are incredibly important to me. More intimate than most of the ones I’ve forged in the vanilla world. And yet, being on the kink scene hasn’t been without its difficulties.  » Read more

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I Learned in Elementary School that People Will Touch Your Body Without Permission

a school classroom with all the chairs set on top of the desks
Image by ajari / CC BY

I learned something in the coat room in elementary school.

If they can, people will touch your body without permission.

Especially if it’s dark. And quick. And there are enough people around that you can’t be sure who exactly touched you. Let alone call them out on it.

Sometimes more than one kid would cop a feel as we shuffled out to meet our teacher,  » Read more

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