There’s been a trend that’s been all the rage lately in self-help circles. One that advocates for cleaning house. Severing all your toxic social connections and being able to move forward unfettered, unencumbered.
Living your best life.
Do they bring you joy? Keep them. Do they cause you grief? Chuck them. » Read more
When it comes to conflict in relationships, it isn’t a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. What. How. Why.
Because there isn’t a relationship that doesn’t eventually have a conflict.
True, I’ve found that the best relationships are easy in the beginning, any lumps or bumps smoothed over by a wash of flattering NRE. » Read more
This past weekend, I went to a play party for the first time in a while. I was mostly there in a working capacity for the organizers, acting as the presenter liaison for the night.
As it turned out, the presenters were incredibly low maintenance and retired fairly early. So I unexpectedly ended up with a lot of time on my hands. » Read more
“What was that face for?” he says.
“What face?” I ask, legitimately confused.
“You were scowling.”
“Was I?” I say. I can’t remember what I was thinking about a few moments ago. My mind was wandering… I comb my memory for what it could have been that flashed across my face. » Read more
PQ 16.2 — Do I take responsibility for my choices, or do I expect my partners to make them for me?
What a question. That was my reflexive reaction to reading it: What a question.
I showed this one to a friend of mine, and their verbatim reaction was also “What a question.” » Read more
It’s no trick loving someone at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
You’re really beautiful, the stranger writes.
Honey, I know that you think so, and while I appreciate the compliment, I wouldn’t stake my house on it. » Read more
My eyes are raw from crying. As I sit on the downstairs couch, I feel like there are bricks in my chest. If I think carefully through the last hour, I can actually retrace the series of statements that took us here. But he’s sitting upstairs in the bedroom angry and frustrated. Not in the mood to talk about anything. » Read more
PQ 9.4 — Am I afraid to say no or disagree with my partner?
For the first 2 or 3 years of our relationship, my ex-husband Seth and I never argued. Not even when we broke up for a week. When I got disgusted that he spent the rent money on video games. » Read more
PQ 6.6 — Do I communicate authentically in ways that make me vulnerable?
I’m often asked, especially by newly polyamorous folks, if it’s possible to get better at dealing with stress that comes from adjusting to it all. Can we make peace with unhelpful social scripts we’ve learned from a society that overwhelmingly tells us that monogamy is the only reasonable, » Read more
Page, in your post on conflict resolution styles you forgot one thing about Collaborating. In my opinion: There’s not always a win-win solution. Like. I don’t think in that situation it automatically becomes Compromising. It’s just a conflict that can’t be resolved in a collaborative way.
It’s one of those drawbacks no one wants to believe is real. » Read more