What Playing Video Games Has Taught Me About Having Relationships

a picture of someone holding up the old Nintendo cartridge of Dragon Warrior in their hand as they stand in what appears to be a parking lot
Image Source by Trevor Owens

Video games have been a constant presence in my life for basically as long as I can remember. There are a multitude of people that I wouldn’t know at all if it weren’t for my love of video games, like the guildies I met back in the days when I essentially lived inside MMORPGs.

And there are still others who I would have known but wouldn’t have been nearly as close to,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Everything I Know About Polyamory, I Learned as a Gigging Musician

a picture of a saxophone and a flute, propped up on music stands
Image by Garry Knight / CC BY

A lot of my favorite poly bloggers share a similar story: They came to polyamory naturally. Monogamy just wasn’t a thing that they did well (or at all).

Sure, some of them tried to fit themselves into that box, particularly when they came upon someone they truly cared about who expressed that exclusivity was important to them,  » Read more

Continue Reading

What’s Your Conflict Style? 5 Approaches to Conflict Resolution

3 dinner forks locked together in front of a black backgorund
Image by David Santolalla / CC BY

“Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.”

-Max Lucado


As I wrote in a previous post, there are worse things than conflict, including perpetually running away from one you need to address. One commenter on that piece made a great observation: “Honesty and conflict resolution are so much easier in theory than in practice.”  » Read more

Continue Reading

Dating the Same Girls: Poly Rivalry and Good Taste

a black cat swiping at a tabby cat in an act of sibling rivalry
Image by Charles Barilleaux / CC BY

“What would be the hardest thing for you?” I asked Rob.

“You mean, what would really push my buttons?” he replied.


He leaned back on the wall behind the bed. “It’s a tough question. I don’t have a lot of jealousy.”

I nodded. It had taken some doing to explain to Rob why his dating my ex-girlfriend might be difficult for me.  » Read more

Continue Reading

I don’t like being compared to other people.

When I was in the first grade, my teacher had a poster on the wall of our classroom she had made titled “King of the Mountain.” She wrote our names on little pieces of paper and placed them on this poster to illustrate our position in relationship to each other academically within the class. My thought is that this was supposed to act as some form of motivation for us to strive to reach the peak ourselves and that competition would motivate us to achieve more.   » Read more

Continue Reading