I was 17 years old. On a trip to another school about 2.5 hours away with my high school jazz ensemble. The band director was friendly with ours. He had arranged some pieces for us to play. Nice guy, actually.
I had gigged with him occasionally and always found him nice to talk to. » Read more
I recently posted an article about jealousy baiting. In it, I talk about two situations in which someone who had been intimate with a partner of mine used that fact to be cruel to me.
I didn’t go into specifics in that article because I didn’t want the individuals to recognize themselves (on the off chance they were reading it). » Read more
I learned an important lesson very early on about jealousy and the dangers of pitting people against one other.
My first grade teacher hung a bulletin board in our classroom that she titled “King of the Mountain.”
She’d created a scene on poster board for it. The image was, predictably, a mountain. » Read more
Video games have been a constant presence in my life for basically as long as I can remember. There are a multitude of people that I wouldn’t know at all if it weren’t for my love of video games, like the guildies I met back in the days when I essentially lived inside MMORPGs.
And there are still others who I would have known but wouldn’t have been nearly as close to, » Read more
The first time I met one of my colleagues at the regional office, we’d been working together for quite some time but had never had the opportunity to meet face to face.
So she mostly knew me virtually, from the way I handled projects. I was focused, driven. When I was at work, » Read more
A lot of my favorite poly bloggers share a similar story: They came to polyamory naturally. Monogamy just wasn’t a thing that they did well (or at all).
Sure, some of them tried to fit themselves into that box, particularly when they came upon someone they truly cared about who expressed that exclusivity was important to them, » Read more
“Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.”
As I wrote in a previous post, there are worse things than conflict, including perpetually running away from one you need to address. One commenter on that piece made a great observation: “Honesty and conflict resolution are so much easier in theory than in practice.” » Read more
“What would be the hardest thing for you?” I asked Rob.
“You mean, what would really push my buttons?” he replied.
He leaned back on the wall behind the bed. “It’s a tough question. I don’t have a lot of jealousy.”
I nodded. It had taken some doing to explain to Rob why his dating my ex-girlfriend might be difficult for me. » Read more
“Fear makes come true that which one is afraid of.”
-Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning
Well, it’s good to know that I can count on you to stab me in the back, they texted me. I saw the tag on Facebook. » Read more
When I was in the first grade, my teacher had a poster on the wall of our classroom she had made titled “King of the Mountain.” She wrote our names on little pieces of paper and placed them on this poster to illustrate our position in relationship to each other academically within the class. My thought is that this was supposed to act as some form of motivation for us to strive to reach the peak ourselves and that competition would motivate us to achieve more. » Read more