“When a Metamour Resents My Existence, I Feel My Compersion Begin to Die”

black and white photo of a cat lying on a blanket
Image by Meagan, Pretty Piper / CC BY

Hi Page,

My compersion appears to be conditional. I’m not ashamed for this. I’m trying to acknowledge it and turn it around. Love shouldn’t be conditional and for me it’s not. So this has been a big pill to swallow. Have you written about this? When a partner’s partner resents your existence and you feel your compersion for them begin to die?  » Read more

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We Tend to Think More About Tasks That Are Unfinished

a hand holding a single puzzle piece
Image by Eli Christman / CC BY

Compersion has a semi-exalted status in polyamorous circles. Simply stated, compersion (also known as confelicity or mudita) is delight in the happiness of others — even when that happiness has little or nothing to do with you. When you get down to it, compersion is just a very specific kind of empathy, one that runs counter to our cultural expectations.  » Read more

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4 Things I’ve Found to Be True While Dating Polyamorously Regardless of Current Role

3 crocheted coasters, one large orange, one medium blue, and one small yellow
Image by storebukkebruse / CC BY

Whenever possible, I try to offer advice that applies to all sorts of relationships, whether that’s polyamorous, monogamous, or somewhere in between. And when I’m advising polyamorous folks in particular, I do my best to offer advice that will apply to people in a range of different relationship configurations.  Not just help for secondaries,  » Read more

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Cultivating Compersion Can Be a Helpful Distraction from the Pain of Tackling Jealousy and Insecurity.

a black and white photo of one person with their hands on someone's unclothed back
Image by zaphodsotherhead / CC BY

“Ugh,” I say.

“You okay?” he says.

“Yeah, my neck just hurts.” I rub the sore muscle, frowning. “No biggie. It happens sometimes.”

“Oh, mind if I help you with that?” he asks. “I can do a release.”

I’ve seen his training certificate on the wall. That he knows what he’s doing when it comes to massage therapy.   » Read more

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