When Relationships Are Simultaneous, It’s Harder to Dismiss Your Concerns About Them

dice doubles. 8 dice arranged in 4 pairs of 2, a pair of 4's, a pair of 5's, a pair of 6's, and a pair of 7's
Image by Clint Budd / CC BY

I recently posted an essay called “A Bad Partner Fit Can Make You Feel Like You’re Worthless.” In it, I contrast two relationships I’ve been in, not by discussing the qualities of the two different partners, but by sharing the different ways they described me: 

It’s easy to come up with differences between those two relationships.  » Read more

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The Difference Between a Rough Spot & a Bad Fit Is Like the Difference Between a Cold Day & a Cold Season

a snowy field in winter
Image by Rebecca Wilson / CC BY

I moved to Dallas about five months ago. Prior to that, I’d always lived in cold places. I spent my childhood and my early adulthood in Central Maine, where snow fell six months out of the year, and while it did warm up a bit during the summer months, it never really got hot-hot.

And it certainly didn’t last.  » Read more

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I’m Communicosexual and Communicoromantic. Are You?

two stick figures with overlapping speech bubbles
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Communicosexual (adjective): finding the ability to effectively communicate and hold enjoyable conversation sexually attractive or arousing

Communicoromantic (adjective): being romantically attracted to individuals with which one can have effective communication and enjoyable conversation


When it comes to dating and love, I’m actually pretty flexible in my expectations. I’m open to dating all sorts of folks.  » Read more

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The Scariest Thing About Polyamory Is Also One of the Best

Image by One Day Closer / CC BY

“I’ve thought of something you should write about,” she tells me.

“Oh?” I say. She’s not the type to offer up ideas very often. Not much of an unsolicited advice giver. And her insights are usually great. So she has my interest.

“It’s about something I’ve never really heard anybody talk about in relation to polyamory,”  » Read more

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I Don’t Regret Dating You. I’m Grateful for the Wound You Gave Me.

a drawing of a person with long red hair who is wearing a blue scarf, green coat, and pink boots. Behind them is a cloud that seems to be making a lot of wind.
Image by Annie Pilon / CC BY

Maybe it should have told me more than it did, that we liked the same band — but for completely different reasons.

He was attracted to the drama of their music. The dynamics, especially the highs. When he sang along, it was a form of emotional expression he couldn’t get anywhere else. A vessel for his unacceptable feelings.  » Read more

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