“I did a very bad thing last night,” I say. “I compared myself to other people. And I hurt myself in the process.”
“You know better than that,” he says.
I know he’s right. I’m always saying that comparing someone else’s public best to your private worst is the road to ruin. » Read more
FOMO: (noun) Fear of Missing Out. Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.
JOMO: (noun) Joy of Missing Out. Feeling of contentment due to staying in and disconnecting, can be considered an act of self-care
Comparison. » Read more
Recently, I answered a reader letter in an advice column called “I Have My Partner’s Blessing, But I Still Feel Like I’m Cheating. Is This Normal?”
In my response to that letter, I wrote about first night effect. Essentially, first night effect is a phenomenon that many polyamorous folks experience whereby they feel either guilt or shame after their first preapproved nonmonogamous encounter. » Read more
“Keep your top on,” she said.
“Sure,” I said, dropping my arms to my sides and then quickly wrapping them around her waist. And as we kissed, I moved my hands up her torso, feeling her body through her shirt. Her chest had its own topography. Subtle places where she came in. Went out. » Read more
PQ 9.8 — Does my partner make me feel worse about myself?
Before I begin, a quick caveat: I get what this question is driving at, but saying someone “makes” us feel a certain way can have a downside.
A lot of people are scared of polyamory and other forms of ethical non-monogamy because they worry their partner will compare them to others. » Read more
It’s a dangerous road to travel down, comparing yourself to others. It might just be the biggest no-no in polyamory.
Many of us know we shouldn’t be playing the “better this way, better that way” game with our metamours. Wondering how we stack up against the “competition” (and indeed competition and zero sum thinking can be really bad for us). » Read more