Bad Poly: A Case Study

video game screen with green text that reds "Game Over. Continue?" with options of "Yes" or "No" - "Yes" is currently selected.

How does a person who is polyamorous in spirit end up not seeking other partners for a great length of time, essentially becoming monogamous in practice?

To put it mildly, I was party to some truly bad poly. And despite whose “fault” you think the whole thing was when the dust settled (I personally believe we all fucked up to varying degrees),  » Read more

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Sanctuary

The DSM-IV defines a mental disorder as “a clinically significant behavioral or psychological syndrome or pattern that occurs in an individual [which] is associated with present distress…or disability…or with a significant increased risk of suffering.”

In short, your idiosyncrasies, your proclivities, your deviance must cause a problem to be a problem.  » Read more

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Silver and Gold

I lost my belief in so many beautiful traditions long ago.

 

I raised myself on movies of the week and Hallmark moments. As my parents rarely commented on life’s “bigger issues” or even had many conversations beyond “I like what you’ve done with the meatloaf” with each other in front of us,  » Read more

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Poly Debriefing #3: Don’t Fight the Moonlight, an NRE Survival Guide

These days I’m polyamorous in spirit, monogamous in practice. It feels disingenuous to claim that I am one or the other completely. Even though my relationship is monogamous, meaning that we are sexually exclusive, I have learned so much from experiencing polyamorous relationships that I will never be the same person I was before.  » Read more

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Welcome to Fight Club

I’ve been wanting to write this essay for a while, stopped and started. Floundered.

Because while I feel strongly about the following issue, I find myself reluctant to admit openly that Skyspook and I have had disagreements. Which is ludicrous, really. But I’m a victim of social pressure. So many times have I heard people in relationships proudly proclaiming,  » Read more

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It Always Felt Like An Affair

And in hindsight, that should have told me something. “She doesn’t have to know how serious we are yet. She just wouldn’t understand.”

I thought it was romantic that he would lie to her by omission. That we’d have little secrets that only the two of us would know. I thought they were harmless and bred intimacy.  » Read more

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Sincerity

I was at a backyard bonfire party many years ago when I saw a friend vigorously fellate a hot dog. I know. No big deal, right? You might be wondering why I remember something so mundane.

The trouble was that my friend was asexual to the point of being sex negative and despised giving head.  » Read more

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