Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More
Every writer has a different story of how they got into it. When they started. Why.
My own story starts in the third grade. Because for a few years prior to that point, sure, I could read and write. But I mostly did so in order to function in the world around me, » Read more
While I’m a generally sunny person with a positive temperament, I’m not immune to sadness. Self-doubt.
The timing of these slumps can be rather unpredictable. But the negative thoughts I experience? Well, those tend to fall into a few very predictable categories.
And when I’m down on myself, there’s one line of negative thinking that I tend to encounter over and over again: I start to think that no one likes me. » Read more
It’s one of the unfortunate realities of interpersonal communication: The way that you talk to people in healthy situations will cause major problems when you’re trying to talk to someone stuck in unhealthy dynamics. That’s because manipulative people with toxic personalities will hijack normal conversational maxims and norms and exploit them to their own ends. » Read more
My anxiety has often functioned like a shot clock, especially in social situations. Instead of feeling like I had plenty of time to answer someone who asked me a question, I would instead feel pressure to react immediately.
And every millisecond that elapsed before I was able to respond pained me greatly. » Read more
Communicosexual (adjective): finding the ability to effectively communicate and hold enjoyable conversation sexually attractive or arousing
Communicoromantic (adjective): being romantically attracted to individuals with which one can have effective communication and enjoyable conversation
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When it comes to dating and love, I’m actually pretty flexible in my expectations. I’m open to dating all sorts of folks. » Read more
It was kind of a running joke between all of us, back in the day. “Pete’s in three relationships, actually. He’s dating two women and he’s also obsessed with his phone.”
Because he was. It was pretty annoying when we were holding poker nights since he’d often become fixated on whatever texts he had coming in and would completely miss what was going on in the game. » Read more
In a recent essay, I wrote about 10 things that I do that help me write openly about my life without going crazy in the process. After that article came out, I had several readers write back in response. One point in particular seemed to resonate with many folks, tip #6, in which I discuss how to deal with people who are trying to stir up conflict, » Read more
PQ 24.2 — Does this person have relationship values similar to mine?
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This far along in this series, there are likely to be a lot of questions that are basically repeats of earlier ones. This is understandable since Veaux and Rickert never intended that the chapter end questions in their book be tackled this way, » Read more
I’m learning a lot about myself from him. From looking at who I am through his eyes.
He has that kind of hypervigilance you only get after years of dating women who set traps. Who modify their behavior ever so slightly as a test, to see if you notice.
Like those silent bargains I’d make with God as a kid: “If you really exist, » Read more
PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?
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Last week, I wrote what could essentially serve as an open letter to any new metamour that I may have: A Letter to My Future Metamour.
Although ideally I like to meet metamours (since knowing them well enough that we feel comfortable communicating tends to make scheduling easier, » Read more
