When You Have to Interact With a Manipulative Person You’d Rather Avoid, Act Like a Gray Rock

a gray textured rock face
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

In a recent essay, I wrote about 10 things that I do that help me write openly about my life without going crazy in the process. After that article came out, I had several readers write back in response. One point in particular seemed to resonate with many folks, tip #6, in which I discuss how to deal with people who are trying to stir up conflict,  » Read more

Continue Reading

A Sigh Can Set Off a Conflict As Easily as the Words We Choose to Say

a bunch of darts stuck in a dart board
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I’m learning a lot about myself from him. From looking at who I am through his eyes.

He has that kind of hypervigilance you only get after years of dating women who set traps. Who modify their behavior ever so slightly as a test, to see if you notice.

Like those silent bargains I’d make with God as a kid: “If you really exist,  » Read more

Continue Reading

PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?

a photograph of a fire
Image by Dheeraj Dwivedi / CC BY

PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?

*

Last week, I wrote what could essentially serve as an open letter to any new metamour that I may have: A Letter to My Future Metamour.

Although ideally I like to meet metamours (since knowing them well enough that we feel comfortable communicating tends to make scheduling easier,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Just Because Communication Is Direct, That Doesn’t Mean It Has to Be Harsh

a closeup of someone's hand holding a baby bird with a background of a grassy lawn
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

A little while ago, I published a piece called “My Number One Kink Is Direct Communication.” In that essay, I talk about the reasons why I have such a distaste for playing games with people when it comes to communication. I’m not a big fan of passive-aggression, guessing games in which one person is expected to mind-read the other’s thoughts,  » Read more

Continue Reading

My Number One Kink Is Direct Communication

a brick wall
Image by Rachael Towne / CC BY

It’s been decades, but I still vividly remember my old elementary school. It was a brick building. Standing outside at recess, I’d often stare at those walls,  fascinated by the flaws in the blocks, the cracks and places where they were uneven. I was generally a talkative kid and often very social but occasionally I’d get overwhelmed.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again

a black poodle looking up at the camera with its mouth open and its tongue out
Image by David McKelvey / CC BY

Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

They previously contributed four articles to Poly.Land:

  1. Is There a Right Time or Way to Break Up a Relationship?
  2. I Was Treated as a Disease Vector: Why There Are So Few Gay Men in Pansexual Polyamory
  3. Being Single Sucks,
  4.   » Read more

Continue Reading
1 2 3 10