I’ve poured my heart out again. One of those ridiculous long-winded emotional spiels. The kind that leave me exhausted and worried after the fact.
Because it feels cathartic to get it all out, but the last thing I want to do is alienate the person I’m talking to. Overwhelm them. Cause some sort of secondary problem that I’m not in any shape to clean up. » Read more
While I’ve had a couple of close friends who were extroverted (including my high school best friend), the vast majority of my close friends have been introverts.
That was how I got my social start back in elementary school. Shy kids flocked to me. I was often the group spokesperson, being brave on my friends’ » Read more
A month ago, I published an essay called “Not All Romantic Gestures Look the Same,” in which I revealed something a little strange I do out of love:
My partner is definitely not a morning person. He needs a bit of time to warm up before he’s ready to people. » Read more
I grew up in a strict authoritarian household where I had very little freedom. It was a house in which you had to ask permission to have a glass of water — because after all, someone had to wash it later.
A promise to be the person who washed the glass wasn’t good enough. » Read more
Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.
Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Their regular blog is Eclectic Discourse (where pith goes to die; in-depth looks at awkward topics).
Here’s what they wrote for us today: » Read more
Why Don’t I Communicate More?
“You just need to have open, honest communication.”
The people who originally introduced me to polyamory explained it to me that way. It was the closest thing we had to a firm, fast rule. The one bit of instruction that was consistently provided.
In every scenario, it was said, you couldn’t go wrong with open, » Read more
Fairly frequently, I’ll write articles describing a relationship situation where something changes, and it puts the people in the relationship into a difficult situation (here’s a recent example).
And invariably, whenever I write one of these pieces, I’ll get a few comments that go a little something like this:
“If everyone knew there were problems, » Read more
It’s Sunday morning. I’m wearing sweatpants, a T-shirt I don’t care about, and a head wrap that holds my hair out of my face. It’s not glamorous, but it’s functional. I’m dressed that way because I’ve been cleaning. Nothing major but the kind of light cleaning that doesn’t wait for a weekday to be done. » Read more
After a protracted period of soul searching and agonizing, I decided to share my feelings with him. I thought about how to phrase it. And then I went for it.
And in response he offered, “For one, you feel like that with me, too, and still isn’t true there. For two, not much I could help with except to say that most people like that you’re a bit pushy with your feelings. » Read more
“I don’t know that we communicate well,” I say to him.
“This is news to me,” he replies.
“Really,” he says. “I love talking to you.”
“I do, too,” I say. “We have good conversations.”
“But you just…”
I sigh. “Just because we have good conversations doesn’t mean that we communicate well.” » Read more