In a recent essay, I wrote about 10 things that I do that help me write openly about my life without going crazy in the process. After that article came out, I had several readers write back in response. One point in particular seemed to resonate with many folks, tip #6, in which I discuss how to deal with people who are trying to stir up conflict, » Read more
PQ 24.2 — Does this person have relationship values similar to mine?
PQ 24.2 — Does this person have relationship values similar to mine?
*
This far along in this series, there are likely to be a lot of questions that are basically repeats of earlier ones. This is understandable since Veaux and Rickert never intended that the chapter end questions in their book be tackled this way, » Read more
A Sigh Can Set Off a Conflict As Easily as the Words We Choose to Say
I’m learning a lot about myself from him. From looking at who I am through his eyes.
He has that kind of hypervigilance you only get after years of dating women who set traps. Who modify their behavior ever so slightly as a test, to see if you notice.
Like those silent bargains I’d make with God as a kid: “If you really exist, » Read more
PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?
PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?
*
Last week, I wrote what could essentially serve as an open letter to any new metamour that I may have: A Letter to My Future Metamour.
Although ideally I like to meet metamours (since knowing them well enough that we feel comfortable communicating tends to make scheduling easier, » Read more
You Can’t Communicate Well Enough for Two (or More) People
When I was a little kid, I spent a lot of time alone. The most talkative person in a family of otherwise introverted people, I lived in a house in the woods that was 15 minutes by car from my elementary school in good weather. An hour or more in the snow and unmaintained roads of Maine winters. » Read more
What Do Polyamorous Women Find Attractive?
Hi Page,
I have been reading your blog for a while now. As a polycurious man, I love it. While I’m still yet to have a polyamorous relationship, I love getting a peek behind the scenes for when I (hopefully) one day will.
I’ve read many times that it can be more difficult for polyamorous men than women to find partners when a relationship opens up. » Read more
Just Because Communication Is Direct, That Doesn’t Mean It Has to Be Harsh
A little while ago, I published a piece called “My Number One Kink Is Direct Communication.” In that essay, I talk about the reasons why I have such a distaste for playing games with people when it comes to communication. I’m not a big fan of passive-aggression, guessing games in which one person is expected to mind-read the other’s thoughts, » Read more
My Number One Kink Is Direct Communication
It’s been decades, but I still vividly remember my old elementary school. It was a brick building. Standing outside at recess, I’d often stare at those walls, fascinated by the flaws in the blocks, the cracks and places where they were uneven. I was generally a talkative kid and often very social but occasionally I’d get overwhelmed. » Read more
When I’m Asking Why You Love Me, I’m Really Asking What Love Is to You
Fall 2011
I’d been sitting in counseling for the better part of a 50-minute hour, talking about my soon-to-be ex-husband.
“What you’re realizing,” my therapist said, “is that he didn’t really love you.”
I protested, told her that he said it plenty.
“While he may have said he loved you, » Read more
Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again
Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.
They previously contributed four articles to Poly.Land: