Managing Phone Etiquette With Multiple Partners Can Be Challenging

a phone with a toy rider on a horse atop it
Image by Fabio Sola Penna / CC BY

It was kind of a running joke between all of us, back in the day. “Pete’s in three relationships, actually. He’s dating two women and he’s also obsessed with his phone.”

Because he was. It was pretty annoying when we were holding poker nights since he’d often become fixated on whatever texts he had coming in and would completely miss what was going on in the game.  » Read more

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When You Have to Interact With a Manipulative Person You’d Rather Avoid, Act Like a Gray Rock

a gray textured rock face
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

In a recent essay, I wrote about 10 things that I do that help me write openly about my life without going crazy in the process. After that article came out, I had several readers write back in response. One point in particular seemed to resonate with many folks, tip #6, in which I discuss how to deal with people who are trying to stir up conflict,  » Read more

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A Sigh Can Set Off a Conflict As Easily as the Words We Choose to Say

a bunch of darts stuck in a dart board
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I’m learning a lot about myself from him. From looking at who I am through his eyes.

He has that kind of hypervigilance you only get after years of dating women who set traps. Who modify their behavior ever so slightly as a test, to see if you notice.

Like those silent bargains I’d make with God as a kid: “If you really exist,  » Read more

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PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?

a photograph of a fire
Image by Dheeraj Dwivedi / CC BY

PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?

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Last week, I wrote what could essentially serve as an open letter to any new metamour that I may have: A Letter to My Future Metamour.

Although ideally I like to meet metamours (since knowing them well enough that we feel comfortable communicating tends to make scheduling easier,  » Read more

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Just Because Communication Is Direct, That Doesn’t Mean It Has to Be Harsh

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Image by Pixabay / CC 0

A little while ago, I published a piece called “My Number One Kink Is Direct Communication.” In that essay, I talk about the reasons why I have such a distaste for playing games with people when it comes to communication. I’m not a big fan of passive-aggression, guessing games in which one person is expected to mind-read the other’s thoughts,  » Read more

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My Number One Kink Is Direct Communication

a brick wall
Image by Rachael Towne / CC BY

It’s been decades, but I still vividly remember my old elementary school. It was a brick building. Standing outside at recess, I’d often stare at those walls,  fascinated by the flaws in the blocks, the cracks and places where they were uneven. I was generally a talkative kid and often very social but occasionally I’d get overwhelmed.  » Read more

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