Concept creep has to be one of my biggest pet peeves.
What’s concept creep? It’s pretty much what it sounds like. Concept creep occurs when a concept that originally meant something very specific later comes to encompass a much broader set of unrelated, or only loosely related, phenomena.
Psychology has been particularly plagued by concept creep. » Read more
Folks who are in emotional crumple zones are the ones others worry the least about upsetting or hurting. Not because they don’t have feelings. And not because they don’t get hurt easily.
Indeed, many folks in the crumple zone are actually quite sensitive — to their own emotions and to the ones of those around them. » Read more
Codependence is an overused term implying that normal partner interdependence is somehow dysfunctional.
The concept and terminology came out of the Alcoholics Anonymous movement; the addicted were seen as trapped in a web of dependency with others (their enablers, or codependents) who made excuses for and assisted the addicts in avoiding the consequences of their addiction, » Read more
Fellow poly Clevelander Ferrett Steinmetz recently published a post called “I’m Married to Her, but I’m Not Her Primary.” What renders him secondary, Ferrett writes in this post, is his wife’s commitment to her children from a previous marriage and how she (understandably) prioritizes that role over their relationship.
It’s a nice piece, » Read more
Compersion is Empathy
When you get down to it, compersion (i.e., delight in the happiness of others) is just a very specific kind of empathy, one that runs counter to our cultural expectations.
Now, I’m not trying to take away all the fun words. I love neologisms as much as the next person. » Read more
Here are four terms that are used in such conflicting ways as to greatly limit their usefulness:
- High maintenance
Through reviewing the available research and interfacing professionally with specialists in these realms, I’ve noticed there is very little consensus on their actual meaning and proper application to people and behaviors. » Read more
I need to write about this because one day I’ll have worked everything out and be so far beyond my current troubles that I’ll forget how I got past this point.
I can hazard a guess, but I don’t know for sure exactly when or why everything changed. Somehow somewhere along the line I stopped listening to my emotions, » Read more
I’m writing to you to thank you for the Post-It tucked inside the front cover of the copy of Women Who Love Too Much I bought secondhand with the list of other “Suggested Reading” you left for the next person who’d read it. Thank you for your insights, the notes you jotted in the margins, » Read more
In February of 2010, I’m walking through the streets of Bangor late at night in 4-inch patent leather heels with a handsome man holding my hand, steadying me. He’s a friend I’ve made out with a few times. We’ve both had a fair amount of drink, left the party to take a walk for the privacy, » Read more