When You’ve Changed, You Have to Decide Whether to Accept It or Try to Force Yourself Back

a ranch in North Texas. Wide blue open sky with few clouds. A windmill. Prairie grass. A fence.
Image by Aaron Stidwell / CC BY

Two months ago, I moved from Cleveland to Dallas. I laughed the first time I was asked if I might be amenable to moving to Texas five months ago.

But the more I learned about the job opportunity in Dallas, the less insane it sounded.

And a month after that, I was straight out getting rid of most of what I owned,  » Read more

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PQ 23.3 — Do my expectations allow space for metamours who might have different expectations?

an American football sitting on the grass
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

PQ 23.3 — Do my expectations allow space for metamours who might have different expectations?

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“When it comes to polyamory, sometimes I think I’m the world’s biggest Monday morning quarterback,” she says.

I laugh involuntarily. “I’m not really into football,” I warn her.

“Well, you live in Cleveland,  » Read more

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I Realize I’m Loved at the Strangest Times, from the Smallest Things

a white paper note that says ".love." on it in red lettering. It is stuck in the branches of a tree
Image by Jennifer Donley / CC BY

It’s Saturday. We’re both working in the living room on our laptops.

Delighted as always to be workaholics.

His Spotify mix is playing in the background, a kind of active white noise to smooth out the normal ambient noises. The peaks and silences of the house. Our neighbors. The street.

I’m not even registering the music,  » Read more

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I’m Just a Hick Kid in Big City Clothing

the bright city skyline of Cleveland at night
Image by Carlos Javier / CC BY

I’m standing in a lushly decorated rooftop bar holding a drink that cost me more than I think a drink should. Although it’s a heavy pour, so that’s good. I’m dressed to the nines. Chic dress, lace pumps, suit coat. I’d spent hours earlier combing my wardrobe for the best pieces, looking for something that says “trendy businesswoman mixed with just a touch of first lady.”  » Read more

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No, Polyamory Isn’t Just for Rich People

a black and white photo of a woman ostentatiously garbed in 1920's flapper attire
Image by sunshinecity / CC BY

It’s a criticism I hear fairly often of polyamory: Having multiple simultaneous romantic relationships is a classist idea. Some say polyamory is just for rich trust fund kids who have the scratch to go on twice, thrice, or four times as many dates.

It’s said that polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy are inaccessible to all but the wealthiest among us.  » Read more

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Americans and Their Comfy Seats

On my city bus ride into campus this morning, I was sitting in front of a British man and his female co-worker,  a native Ohioan, one of the locals. Listening to him ask her questions about the area, it brought me back to the first months that I spent here, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things to do nearby.  » Read more

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