What Is a Midlife Crisis?

it's a gun metal Daimler Dart convertible with a red interior
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Midlife crisis. I’m screwing my face up involuntarily just writing the phrase. There are so many damn jokes about it. I’ve been dreading my own for decades now, for far longer than made sense to. Afraid catching myself behaving like the characters on a deck of “Congratulations, You’re Over the Hill!” novelty playing cards.

I suppose my gender has spared me the brunt of it.  » Read more

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Advice Friend: My Partner Is Sharing Posts from a Polyamory Page, Should I Be Concerned I’m Being Cheated On?

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Hi Page,

The person I’ve been dating for 3-1/2 years has recently been reposting your stuff from Facebook.

Should I bring it up and directly ask if he is polyamorous? And if I didn’t know this about him, would that be considered cheating since it wasn’t “knowledge or consent of BOTH parties,”  » Read more

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PQ 9.14 — Am I treated as an adjunct to, or an extension of, my partner’s other relationships, rather than as a person in my own right?

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PQ 9.14 — Am I treated as an adjunct to, or an extension of, my partner’s other relationships, rather than as a person in my own right?


“You said you were going to leave her tonight.”

“Oh, you know how it is, babe. I have a lot going on at work,  » Read more

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Real Cheating Is Not Honoring Social Reciprocity: Hypocrisy and Lopsided Consideration

A board game (named Caylus). A single finger is hovering over a game piece as though they're in the act of cheating at it.
Image by Joanna Pędzich-Opioła / CC BY

What man loses by the social contract is his natural liberty and an unlimited right to everything he tries to get and succeeds in getting; what he gains is civil liberty and the proprietorship of all he possesses.

It is in order not to become victim of an assassin that we consent to die if we become assassins.  » Read more

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9 Steps for Having an Accountability Talk with a Partner When Things Go Wrong

It's a yellow poster board paper. In the center in large letters is the word "Accountability." It also says (moving from top left and moving clockwise): "stay on course," "walk the walk," "reflect and grow," "consequences," "This dog has teeth!" "be real - not fake," "stand and deliver," and "keep your commitments"
Image by United Workers / CC BY

In “Poly Road Testing for Responsible Travelers,” I covered a few things you can do before you open up your relationship that’ll make it go a little more smoothly.

I’ve also previously written about best practices for negotiating polyamorous relationship agreements as well as how to manage things if you find that you need to renegotiate your relationship agreement (a very common scenario once the agreement has been “road tested”).   » Read more

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