PQ 9.14 — Am I treated as an adjunct to, or an extension of, my partner’s other relationships, rather than as a person in my own right?

a bucket of movie theater popcorn
Image by allisonmseward12 / CC BY

PQ 9.14 — Am I treated as an adjunct to, or an extension of, my partner’s other relationships, rather than as a person in my own right?

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“You said you were going to leave her tonight.”

“Oh, you know how it is, babe. I have a lot going on at work,  » Read more

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Real Cheating Is Not Honoring Social Reciprocity: Hypocrisy and Lopsided Consideration

A board game (named Caylus). A single finger is hovering over a game piece as though they're in the act of cheating at it.
Image by Joanna Pędzich-Opioła / CC BY

What man loses by the social contract is his natural liberty and an unlimited right to everything he tries to get and succeeds in getting; what he gains is civil liberty and the proprietorship of all he possesses.

It is in order not to become victim of an assassin that we consent to die if we become assassins.  » Read more

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9 Steps for Having an Accountability Talk with a Partner When Things Go Wrong

It's a yellow poster board paper. In the center in large letters is the word "Accountability." It also says (moving from top left and moving clockwise): "stay on course," "walk the walk," "reflect and grow," "consequences," "This dog has teeth!" "be real - not fake," "stand and deliver," and "keep your commitments"
Image by United Workers / CC BY

In “Poly Road Testing for Responsible Travelers,” I covered a few things you can do before you open up your relationship that’ll make it go a little more smoothly.

I’ve also previously written about best practices for negotiating polyamorous relationship agreements as well as how to manage things if you find that you need to renegotiate your relationship agreement (a very common scenario once the agreement has been “road tested”).   » Read more

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Toxic Monogamy, Why Mono/Poly (and Poly) is Hard

a cannister with the image of a man wearing a gas mask spray painted onto it
Image by eggrole / CC BY

Mono/poly relationships, i.e., a relationship between a partner who is monogamous and one who is polyamorous, are notoriously difficult. Traditional poly blogger wisdom points the finger at both parties having to compromise and feeling somewhat shortchanged. The difference between the relationship structures is to blame for the trouble, they write. But I think it’s even simpler than that.  » Read more

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