When They Tell You to Be the Change You Want to See, They Leave Out All the Awkward Parts

a black board with chalk footprints. Over these are the words "the next step" in chalk
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

“Be the change you want to see in the world,” they tell you — and attribute the quote to Gandhi. Did Gandhi actually say that? The quick answer is no, other people did later, but he said some similar things. (Incidentally, Quote Investigator is such a great resource for researching those inspirational meme quote attributions.  » Read more

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People Can and Do Change But Not Just Because You Want Them To

5 dandelion seed puffs in various colors; from left to right white, yellow, blue-green, green, and purple
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

“People don’t change,” he says.

And I can tell he thinks he’s absolutely right by the way he says it. But that’s the funny thing about confidence: It doesn’t always equate to accuracy or skill (in fact, there’s research that suggests that confident people are less skilled, and more highly skilled folks are plagued by doubt).  » Read more

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And They Lived Happily Ever After…

a frilly glittery tag that reads "Happily Ever After" lying on a glittery pink polka dot background
Image by GlitterandFrills / CC BY

There were no formerly heroic times, and there was no formerly pure generation. There is no one here but us chickens, and so it has always been: A people busy and powerful, knowledgeable, ambivalent, important, fearful, and self-aware; a people who scheme, promote, deceive, and conquer; who pray for their loved ones, and long to flee misery and skip death.  » Read more

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Open Communication Doesn’t Magically Erase the Impact of Major Change

an eraser partially erasing the first two letters of "impossible," transforming it to "possible"
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Their regular blog is Eclectic Discourse (where pith goes to die; in-depth looks at awkward topics).

Here’s what they wrote for us today:  » Read more

Why Don’t I Communicate More?

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When You Ask Someone to Question One Thing, You May Be Asking Them to Question Everything

a small concrete building with graffiti on it. Graffiti says "Question Everything?" and "leave your baggage here. Also has some illegible words as well as a large spraypainted depiction of an eye
Image by Jon Evans / CC BY

Upon hearing that I’ve written three books about polyamory and maintain a popular daily blog that heavily (although not exclusively) focuses on consensual non-monogamy, most people assume I must be some kind of polyamory fanatic.

They presume that I jumped into non-monogamy vigorously, happily, excited as heck. That I was an exuberant polyamorist,  » Read more

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