I’ve changed a lot over the years. I used to think that when you loved someone it meant that their fears took precedence over your own. And that you should do anything to keep from hurting them.
I still have an old journal from my first semester at college (1999). It has a fabric yellow cover, » Read more
I was as hard headed as they come when asking for what I needed. In my case, it was being fed a steady stream of compliments by anyone I dated. It wasn’t enough to receive the same one over and over. No, I wanted a carefully curated mix. “I love you” or “you’re cute” would barely register. » Read more
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people.
“I keep warning you I’m a heartbreaker,” I warn him, toying with the plastic straw in my cup. » Read more
Hi Page! Your writing has been such a source of community and inspiration for me, especially as someone fairly new to polyamory. I’m wondering: what is your experience with healing from a breakup while still in other romantic relationships? My long-term partner and I recently broke up. I started seeing someone else pretty shortly afterwards. » Read more
Last night I dreamed we got back together. We were still us, but everything had changed. You’d forgiven me for what you thought you couldn’t. And I was just so relieved that you were talking to me again. I didn’t think past your forgiveness. I didn’t think about what would come next. The likelihood that we’d just slip into the same patterns that doomed us before. » Read more
What’s deescalation? It sounds like you basically pulling back and becoming more distant from your partner. Is it basically a slow breakup as opposed to a quicker breakup?
When we’re talking about relationships, deescalation can mean a variety of things. But essentially, deescalating a relationship means that you’re moving to become less entangled. » Read more
It doesn’t feel great to admit, but I used to bitterly dislike anyone my current partner had dated in the past. This boiled down to five reasons. The first four of these were fairly conscious reasons, ones I was aware of. The fifth one, not so much. Here they are: » Read more
1. They hurt my partner.
PQ 17.4 — How much space do I have to devote to new relationships right now?
Reasonably? Hmm… As of this writing, I’m fresh off a breakup. With that relationship in the picture, I was polysaturated but not feeling overloaded or strained. So now that it’s over, » Read more
Hi Page, I was wondering what you think of this…
She’s sent me links to several articles about “breakup revenge.”
“What?” I say aloud (even though I’m alone). “That’s a thing?”
I click through. And sure ’nuff, it’s a thing.
There are scads of how-to articles teaching people how to “get even” » Read more
A few months ago, I fell in love with a new woman. I wrote about our first kiss in a piece called “Odds Are You’ll Break My Heart, But It’s Worth It.”
I’m usually fairly neurotic when I get into new relationships. Wondering if I’m doing the right thing by opening myself up to a new person. » Read more