Hi Page! Your writing has been such a source of community and inspiration for me, especially as someone fairly new to polyamory. I’m wondering: what is your experience with healing from a breakup while still in other romantic relationships? My long-term partner and I recently broke up. I started seeing someone else pretty shortly afterwards. » Read more
Last night I dreamed we got back together. We were still us, but everything had changed. You’d forgiven me for what you thought you couldn’t. And I was just so relieved that you were talking to me again. I didn’t think past your forgiveness. I didn’t think about what would come next. The likelihood that we’d just slip into the same patterns that doomed us before. » Read more
What’s deescalation? It sounds like you basically pulling back and becoming more distant from your partner. Is it basically a slow breakup as opposed to a quicker breakup?
When we’re talking about relationships, deescalation can mean a variety of things. But essentially, deescalating a relationship means that you’re moving to become less entangled. » Read more
It doesn’t feel great to admit, but I used to bitterly dislike anyone my current partner had dated in the past. This boiled down to five reasons. The first four of these were fairly conscious reasons, ones I was aware of. The fifth one, not so much. Here they are: » Read more
1. They hurt my partner.
PQ 17.4 — How much space do I have to devote to new relationships right now?
Hi Page, I was wondering what you think of this…
She’s sent me links to several articles about “breakup revenge.”
“What?” I say aloud (even though I’m alone). “That’s a thing?”
I click through. And sure ’nuff, it’s a thing.
There are scads of how-to articles teaching people how to “get even” » Read more
A few months ago, I fell in love with a new woman. I wrote about our first kiss in a piece called “Odds Are You’ll Break My Heart, But It’s Worth It.”
I’m usually fairly neurotic when I get into new relationships. Wondering if I’m doing the right thing by opening myself up to a new person. » Read more
Maybe it should have told me more than it did, that we liked the same band — but for completely different reasons.
He was attracted to the drama of their music. The dynamics, especially the highs. When he sang along, it was a form of emotional expression he couldn’t get anywhere else. A vessel for his unacceptable feelings. » Read more
“I just wanted to make sure I reached out and thanked you,” she says.
“For what?” I ask.
“For talking to me so much about my breakup,” she says.
“Of course,” I tell her. “You’re my friend. You’d do it for me.”
“Well, you make it sound simple,” » Read more
Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.
They previously contributed two articles to Poly.Land: