The Delicate Art of Dating Someone New While Still Grieving From a Breakup

a closeup of a couple of dandelion seeds flying through the air superimposed on a pink background with bright circles of various colors in the background
Image by Neal Fowler / CC BY

Hi Page! Your writing has been such a source of community and inspiration for me, especially as someone fairly new to polyamory. I’m wondering: what is your experience with healing from a breakup while still in other romantic relationships? My long-term partner and I recently broke up. I started seeing someone else pretty shortly afterwards.  » Read more

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Last Night I Dreamed We Got Back Together

a small black cat stretched on a blanket sleeping
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Last night I dreamed we got back together. We were still us, but everything had changed. You’d forgiven me for what you thought you couldn’t. And I was just so relieved that you were talking to me again. I didn’t think past your forgiveness. I didn’t think about what would come next. The likelihood that we’d just slip into the same patterns that doomed us before.  » Read more

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What Relationship Deescalations Are and How They’re Different Than Breakups

a photo of a person holding an upside down tabby cat
Image by Derek Bridges / CC BY

What’s deescalation? It sounds like you basically pulling back and becoming more distant from your partner. Is it basically a slow breakup as opposed to a quicker breakup?


When we’re talking about relationships, deescalation can mean a variety of things. But essentially, deescalating a relationship means that you’re moving to become less entangled.  » Read more

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Apparently Breakup Revenge Is a Thing, But Will It Make You Feel Better?

a wall covered with graffiti that reads "revenge is so 4th grade no more war!"
Image by Cliff Beckwith / CC BY

Hi Page, I was wondering what you think of this… 

She’s sent me links to several articles about “breakup revenge.”

“What?” I say aloud (even though I’m alone). “That’s a thing?”

I click through. And sure ’nuff, it’s a thing.

There are scads of how-to articles teaching people how to “get even”  » Read more

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I Don’t Regret Dating You. I’m Grateful for the Wound You Gave Me.

a drawing of a person with long red hair who is wearing a blue scarf, green coat, and pink boots. Behind them is a cloud that seems to be making a lot of wind.
Image by Annie Pilon / CC BY

Maybe it should have told me more than it did, that we liked the same band — but for completely different reasons.

He was attracted to the drama of their music. The dynamics, especially the highs. When he sang along, it was a form of emotional expression he couldn’t get anywhere else. A vessel for his unacceptable feelings.  » Read more

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Is There a Right Time or Way to Break Up a Relationship?

a broken glass jar of salsa that's been dropped on the pavement, a blurry line of cars is visible in the photo's background
Image by Mark Turnauckas / CC BY

Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

They previously contributed two articles to Poly.Land:

  1.  “I Was Treated as a Disease Vector: Why There Are So Few Gay Men in Pansexual Polyamory”
  2. “Being Single Sucks,
  3.   » Read more

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