PQ 24.4 — Am I being asked to give up anything to be in this relationship? If so, do I feel that what I will get in return is worth the price?
Once upon a time, I was a true social chameleon. I had the ability to blend in practically anywhere. » Read more
My nesting partner and I opened up our relationship about a year and a half ago. For both of us, this was our first experience with polyamory. For a few reasons, including the fact that poly wasn’t a good fit for her, we decided to end our three-year relationship. » Read more
I’ve been following your writings and came across something in your “Wedding & Exes” piece. I’m looking for a bit of advice.
In that piece, you mentioned a study which says that poly people are more likely to not cut off communication from their exes versus monogamous people. » Read more
I’ve been married twice, but until recently I had never been asked to be in a wedding that wasn’t my own. You could say I was always a bride, never a bridesmaid. But in the past few months, I received news that this is about to change.
First, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in what will arguably be one of the most polyamorous weddings I’ve ever been to, » Read more
“It’s funny,” she says. “One thing I really like about polyamory is that relationships just aren’t under the same amount of pressure. Love this person but you’d make terrible roommates? Okay, you don’t move in together. You both live with the people who are better nesting partners for you.”
“Or if one partner has really bland taste in food, » Read more
PQ 22.5 — Have I ever spread bitterness in the community or set people against each other by taking sides or by not keeping confidences?
In order to better understand the context of this question, I reviewed Chapter 22 of More than Two and found the following:
As elsewhere in poly relationships, » Read more
Often people view monogamy and polyamory as being polar opposites. Some even take the view that monogamy and polyamory aren’t relationship styles but innate relationship orientations, diametrically opposed ones at that, with no overlap. In this view, you’re either mono or poly. And there’s nothing in between.
Setting aside the nitpicky issue that the more proper linguistic pairs re: opposites would be monogamy/polygamy and polyamory/monamory, » Read more
PQ 22.1 — How do I approach the end of my relationships? What do I want from my former partners?
When Being Dumped, I Like Clear-cut Notification I Can Receive in Private that Doesn’t Require a Response
I’m starting to think I’m unusual in this regard. Since I really want only one thing when someone is breaking up with me: I want to know it’s over. » Read more
I’ve changed a lot over the years. I used to think that when you loved someone it meant that their fears took precedence over your own. And that you should do anything to keep from hurting them.
I still have an old journal from my first semester at college (1999). It has a fabric yellow cover, » Read more
I was as hard headed as they come when asking for what I needed. In my case, it was being fed a steady stream of compliments by anyone I dated. It wasn’t enough to receive the same one over and over. No, I wanted a carefully curated mix. “I love you” or “you’re cute” would barely register. » Read more