“I’ve pretty much always been the one broken up with,” she says. “And you know, it’s been easy to feel defective because of that.”
“Because you’re the one being dumped and not the person doing the dumping?” I ask.
“Yes,” she says.
In a way, I know what she means, » Read more
I recently published an article called “Why Do Some People Say They Want to Break Up With Someone For a Long Time & Then Never Do It?”
In that essay, I talked about some reasons I’d heard from others or seen in action that could be potential answers to that question:
- A fear of change
- A fear of being single and/or having to date again (i.e.,
» Read more
Why do people say they want to break up with someone for a year plus but never do it? a friend asks in a Facebook status.
The answers flood in. Some say that being single sucks and a bad relationship could be preferable to it. Others take the position that it could be an aversion to dating new people and all the stress and confusion that comes with it. » Read more
I’ve been reading your blog for a while. Part of why I’m writing to you is that I’ve loved your articles on breakups. I’m hoping you can help me because I just had the world’s weirdest breakup.
I’d been seeing this guy for a little bit, » Read more
January is almost over. It has frankly been a pretty rough month, all told. The polar vortex has settled down here in Cleveland (where I live), bringing with it the brutal cold. Lake effect decided to be a pal and dump a heavy blanket of snow. I was sick for most of the month with a rotten upper respiratory infection. » Read more
Having gone through plenty of breakups myself, I can tell you firsthand that they can be a real bummer. Whether you were dumped or the one who initiated it. And even when it’s mutual.
When it’s over, it can be easy to question yourself. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard people wonder post-breakup: Was I really in love? » Read more
“We finish each other’s–”
–Arrested Development (and later, Frozen)
Have you ever been so close to someone that you knew what they were going to say next?
It turns out that scientists are researching this, why this happens, » Read more
PQ 24.4 — Am I being asked to give up anything to be in this relationship? If so, do I feel that what I will get in return is worth the price?
Once upon a time, I was a true social chameleon. I had the ability to blend in practically anywhere. » Read more
My nesting partner and I opened up our relationship about a year and a half ago. For both of us, this was our first experience with polyamory. For a few reasons, including the fact that poly wasn’t a good fit for her, we decided to end our three-year relationship. » Read more
I’ve been following your writings and came across something in your “Wedding & Exes” piece. I’m looking for a bit of advice.
In that piece, you mentioned a study which says that poly people are more likely to not cut off communication from their exes versus monogamous people. » Read more