The Golden Rule Is for Strangers. Use the Platinum Rule for Those You Know Well.

Image by James St. John / CC BY

Pretty much everyone has heard of The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

It’s in the Bible of course. In there multiple times actually. And it’s also a self-help super hit. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard it in my life. (Likely thousands.)  » Read more

The Golden Rule Is for Strangers.

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Fight, Flight, Freeze… Fawn?: Responding to Danger by Becoming a People Pleaser

a sign that's broken that says "yes"
Image by Anthony Clearn / CC BY

Many long-time readers of the blog know that I identify as a recovering people pleaser. It’s been a long road to recovery, bolstered by an excellent support system and a round of assertiveness therapy several years back.

Growing up under the thumb of a difficult mercurial parent, I learned early on how to anticipate her needs and accommodate them,  » Read more

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If You Leave a Note Before You Go Out, Will They Still Yell At You When You Get Home?

an invisible car in the style of Wonder Woman's invisible jet
Image by Steve Jurvetson / CC BY

It was something I was told a thousand times growing up. If you’re going to go out, leave a note.

By my mother when I was staying at my parents’ house. But not just her and not just there. Everywhere. At all the other places I stayed. Friends’ houses. With other relatives.  » Read more

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