I’ve Always Been a Sucker for a Comeback & It Almost Destroyed Me

a pair of hands clasped together with a rainbow beam of light shining over them
Image by Pexels / CC 0

There’s a meme that’s been flying around for some time that talks about how kids who were mistreated will learn to love unwanted things. I personally have loved Godzilla and other kaiju for a very long time. And a lot of other people I know who had rough childhoods will frequently root for the villain.  » Read more

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If You’re Asking Yourself If You’re Being a Doormat, Then the Answer Is Yes

a rainbow doormat with four brown loafers on it
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The other day I got a question from a reader in response to my essay on the importance of being around gracious people.¬†This is true all of the time, really, but particularly when you’re in a polyamorous relationship system.

They asked me a question that might seem obvious but hit me rather funny.  » Read more

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The Golden Rule Is for Strangers. Use the Platinum Rule for Those You Know Well.

platinum
Image by James St. John / CC BY

Pretty much everyone has heard of The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

It’s in the Bible of course. In there multiple times actually. And it’s also a self-help super hit. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard it in my life. (Likely thousands.)  » Read more

The Golden Rule Is for Strangers.

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Fight, Flight, Freeze… Fawn?: Responding to Danger by Becoming a People Pleaser

a sign that's broken that says "yes"
Image by Anthony Clearn / CC BY

Many long-time readers of the blog know that I identify as a recovering people pleaser. It’s been a long road to recovery, bolstered by an excellent support system and a round of assertiveness therapy several years back.

Growing up under the thumb of a difficult mercurial parent, I learned early on how to anticipate her needs and accommodate them,  » Read more

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If You Leave a Note Before You Go Out, Will They Still Yell At You When You Get Home?

an invisible car in the style of Wonder Woman's invisible jet
Image by Steve Jurvetson / CC BY

It was something I was told a thousand times growing up.¬†If you’re going to go out, leave a note.

By my mother when I was staying at my parents’ house. But not just her and not just there. Everywhere. At all the other places I stayed. Friends’ houses. With other relatives.  » Read more

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