For Better or Worse, You Don’t Get to Control How Other People See You

a closeup of a pair of glasses
Image by Brett Bolkowy / CC BY

I’m sitting in a pew, attending mass at the church I attended growing up.

It’s been 7 years since I went to a service here, on another visit to my hometown, but surprisingly little has changed since then.

Actually, surprisingly little has changed from 30 years ago, when I was a small child doing my best to remain quiet and tolerate the unending boredom,  » Read more

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Sometimes It’s Easier to Recover Out of Spite Than Out of Self-Love

it's a black T-shirt with white letters that say "this is what recovery looks like"
Image by Portland Prevention / CC BY

2003

“I can’t go without shaving down there anymore,” she says. “And it has nothing to do with feminism. Or being anti-feminism. ”

“Oh yeah?” I say. Because I don’t know what else to say. Over the months we’ve worked together, she’s become progressively more comfortable around me. Probably because I never freak out about what she says,  » Read more

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Polymathy Confuses People Just As Much As, If Not More Than, Polyamory

Leonardo da Vinci's self-portrait
Image by MAMJODH / CC BY

I’ve Been Poly My Whole Life — Polymathic

I’m different than a lot of other polyamorous educators because I haven’t been polyamorous my whole life. In fact, polyamory wasn’t even something I seriously considered until I was in my late 20s. Before then, I hadn’t even heard of the word. And I couldn’t fathom how non-monogamous relationships could be conducted in a way that was respectful and mutually beneficial for everyone involved.  » Read more

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I Learned in Elementary School that People Will Touch Your Body Without Permission

a school classroom with all the chairs set on top of the desks
Image by ajari / CC BY

I learned something in the coat room in elementary school.

If they can, people will touch your body without permission.

Especially if it’s dark. And quick. And there are enough people around that you can’t be sure who exactly touched you. Let alone call them out on it.

Sometimes more than one kid would cop a feel as we shuffled out to meet our teacher,  » Read more

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