Any Particular Person: On Growing Up Catering to Difficult People

a close up of piano keys, bathed in red light
Image by Juan Antonio Segal / CC BY

Born with a Target on My Back

I wasn’t allowed to be particular.

Growing up, only two people in my family were allowed to be particular. One was my sister Alice. Her default state was disgust. Dismay.

Alice was nasty. Particular. And catered to. She was consulted first on where she wanted to go whenever the family went out to eat.  » Read more

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“I Wish I Had Your Confidence”

I smoothed down the black silk over my full hips, noting the high slit. Good for movement and enticing without being trashy, I decided. The lace had held up well in storage, those months this slip had spent in a kind of time-out, awaiting a weight loss that would allow it to fit again.  I adjusted the straps and made sure my breasts lined up in a logical way with the bust area.  » Read more

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Leave a Message, I’m Not Here

I was up until 4:00 this morning masturbating to Penthouse Letters, eating far too much peanut butter, and sorting out the contents of my head. Mostly the latter.

Skyspook has been inordinately grumpy this past week or so, though for good reason. He recently had a root canal and has been inundated with work stress.  » Read more

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Skinny Bitch is Greedy, Too

I’ve been struggling pretty badly with body issues lately. I’ve been working on losing weight for over 3 years now with a lone 6-month break when I was going through my divorce where I regained 25 pounds (now lost).

One rather unsexy problem I’m having is that of loose skin. I’ve lucked out during the process and have had virtually no overhang on my abdomen whatsoever,  » Read more

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Fat Knees

My mother likes to relate a story of a visit she had to her primary care provider many years ago, right around the time my little brother was born. She’d gotten down quickly to her svelte pre-pregnancy weight but was still distressed. “I don’t know what to do,” she said to her doctor. “I have such fat knees.”

“That’s how you know you’re thin,” he replied.  » Read more

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One Size Fits All

There was a girl I used to date during my open marriage. One day when we were eating sushi at one of my favorite restaurants, she confessed to me that she was a “chubby chaser” when it came to men. Her fiance (a heavier guy) was fine with her dating me, and she said she thought Ex-Husband (also overweight) was hot and that she’d date him as well but that it made her fiance too insecure;  » Read more

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