Folks who are in emotional crumple zones are the ones others worry the least about upsetting or hurting. Not because they don’t have feelings. And not because they don’t get hurt easily.
Indeed, many folks in the crumple zone are actually quite sensitive — to their own emotions and to the ones of those around them. » Read more
Thank you for your blog. It’s really awesome.
I was wondering if you have written any pieces about solo polyamory and what your opinion is on it?
You know, I have written about solo polyamory here but only very little. » Read more
First of all, I want to thank you so much for your blog! I take a lot of support and encouragement from your writing. I especially enjoy your strictly non-dogmatic, personal and individual approach. You have the rare gift of being rational and emotional at the same time. » Read more
Recently, my nesting partner Justin decided to switch over to a low-fat diet. Since I normally serve as the official meal planner for our house, it’s been a big project. Especially because left to my own devices, I typically have two personal eating modes: 1. Low Carb or 2. Eating Like I’m on Death Row. » Read more
PQ 16.9– Do I support my partners’ relationships with one another in ways that respect their agency and right to choose their level of intimacy?
I take a deep breath and type the following:
So I’m in a weird situation and wanted to keep you in the loop. » Read more
PQ 16.6 – What boundaries do I set for myself in relation to each of my partners?
For anyone looking for a basic introduction to boundaries as well as a quick framework to managing them in a polyamorous relationship system, I would recommend this post: PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries, » Read more
PQ 13.6 — In what ways am I empowered in my relationships? What things help me to feel empowered?
The Power and Responsibility of a Blank Check
I absolutely love my current agreements. I have carte blanche with my anchor partner Justin (the artist formerly known as Skyspook). Carte blanche is French for “white card.” » Read more
PQ 13.1 — How do I encourage decision-making participation by all my partners? In what ways do I show my partners they are empowered?
You know. It’s funny. For the longest time, I really felt that it was possible to fix something — anything, really — if I only just worked hard enough. » Read more
PQ 12.9 — Do I understand the needs my partner is seeking to meet by requesting veto, and have I considered alternative ways of meeting those needs?
Where I grew up at least, the cars they use for driver’s ed have a second set of controls on the passenger’s side. » Read more
PQ 10.2 — Does the agreement offer a path to success?
The trouble with a lot of couples who are newly opening up is that they’re threat sensitive.
It’s natural to want to protect what you have. But when we focus solely on failure states (like breaking up over changes that come with the introduction of a new partner, » Read more