It’s Freeing to Do Your Own Thing, Even When You’re Very Committed to Someone Else

a white dinner plate that has salmon topped with dill, scallops topped with bacon, and asparagus spears on it
Image by Naotake Murayama / CC BY

Recently, my nesting partner Justin decided to switch over to a low-fat diet. Since I normally serve as the official meal planner for our house, it’s been a big project. Especially because left to my own devices, I typically have two personal eating modes: 1. Low Carb or 2. Eating Like I’m on Death Row.  » Read more

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PQ 16.9– Do I support my partners’ relationships with one another in ways that respect their agency and right to choose their level of intimacy?

a photo with a person who is wearing glasses with their arm around a statue of Dobby the house elf
Image by Weltbild Verlag GmbH / CC BY

PQ 16.9– Do I support my partners’ relationships with one another in ways that respect their agency and right to choose their level of intimacy?

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I take a deep breath and type the following:

So I’m in a weird situation and wanted to keep you in the loop.   » Read more

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PQ 13.6 — In what ways am I empowered in my relationships? What things help me to feel empowered?

a statue of a carnival strong man in a yellow toga-like body suit and sandals hoisting a large block over his head
Image by H.L.I.T. / CC BY

PQ 13.6 — In what ways am I empowered in my relationships? What things help me to feel empowered?

The Power and Responsibility of a Blank Check

I absolutely love my current agreements. I have carte blanche with my anchor partner Justin (the artist formerly known as Skyspook). Carte blanche is French for “white card.”  » Read more

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PQ 13.1 — How do I encourage decision-making participation by all my partners? In what ways do I show my partners they are empowered?

a black and white photo of a flexed biceps that is bulging
Image by 2014uknz+ / CC BY

PQ 13.1 — How do I encourage decision-making participation by all my partners? In what ways do I show my partners they are empowered?

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You know. It’s funny. For the longest time, I really felt that it was possible to fix something — anything, really — if I only just worked hard enough.  » Read more

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PQ 12.9 — Do I understand the needs my partner is seeking to meet by requesting veto, and have I considered alternative ways of meeting those needs?

a closeup of a dark-colored car. There's a yellow banner that draped across it that reads Student Driver in black letters
Image by burnbless / CC BY

PQ 12.9 — Do I understand the needs my partner is seeking to meet by requesting veto, and have I considered alternative ways of meeting those needs?

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Where I grew up at least, the cars they use for driver’s ed have a second set of controls on the passenger’s side.  » Read more

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