Sometimes I think life would be simpler if attention were more straightforward. If attention were just attention, regardless of where it came from. And all attention were the same.
If when we were feeling lonely or unwanted, it were always a simple matter of having any human connection. If it could be fixed by someone — » Read more
Have you ever been so completely focused on a task as you were doing it that you completely lost track of where you were? So absorbed in completing something that you looked up only to find that hours had passed?
I certainly have. During the most gratifying, fulfilling writing sessions and also during certain times when I was composing music. » Read more
I was teaching a class a while back on an unrelated topic when a student interjected with an observation. The Love Languages framework is arguably one of the most popular and widely understood relationship models these days (and I write about it myself from time to time), so it was no surprise when they brought it up. » Read more
Sometimes people have this idea that reality runs like a video tape before us. One in which we simultaneously perceive everything going on. If it happened while we were there, we saw it. No question. And everyone who was also there also saw the same tape.
But scientists studying memory, cognition, » Read more
The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.
-Thich Nhat Hanh
So, while driving in the car with the person sitting right next to us, we think about other things. We aren’t interested in him anymore. » Read more
The Katamari of Kink
“The reason I’m into polyamory is because no one person could be into everything I’m into,” he says.
“It’s not the whole reason I’m in the polyamory, but it’s a reason I’m into polyamory,” he clarifies.
It’s evident, the breadth of his interests. » Read more
I’ve been waiting for months, waiting for years, waiting for you to change.
Aw, but there ain’t much that’s dumber, there ain’t much that’s dumber
than pinning your hopes on a change in another.
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good’s that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, » Read more
Emotional Labor Is a Choice
“What’s today’s post about?” he asks me.
“It’s about how polyamory can mean having to quickly shift gears emotionally,” I say. “Like when you have a good date with one partner and come home to another partner who is having a bad night and needs consoling. » Read more
It’s tough being the opener to the opening act.
The lead singer handles it all with grace: It’s a subdued crowd. Half the audience is at concessions. Fueling up for the rest of the show. Getting their crab fries and Cokes before the band they came to see goes on.
Only one woman in the entire amphitheater is standing up. » Read more
PQ 6.5 — Do I look for hidden meanings in other people’s words? Do I bury my real meaning?
She is the most beautiful woman in the world. We’re whizzing down the road. A rural route. Trees rush by. She’s in the driver’s seat, like always. Her long black hair glints in the sun. » Read more