Sorry Not Sorry, Forced Apologies Aren’t Helpful and Aren’t Fooling Anyone

a wall that has "sorry about your wall" and a smiley face graffitied onto it
Image by Tim Green / CC BY

I do so hate a fauxpology (i.e., fake apology). You know exactly what I’m talking about. When someone’s saying the words, “I”m sorry,” but you can tell they don’t really mean it. Either by tone of voice or stilted word use.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” with an eye roll.

Or something equally unimpressive like,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Making Excuses Vs. Offering an Explanation

It seems like I spend 90% of my life struggling with one nuance or another.

The latest has been trying to differentiate between what constitutes “making excuses” vs. “offering an explanation.”

I set this question out to some of my friends. They overwhelmingly stressed that timing was a key factor (people need a while to cool down and get out of the hotly negative feeling place),  » Read more

Continue Reading

I’m Sorry

I have a confession: I’m a chronic apologizer.

I first became aware that it was a problem when I was a freshman in high school. A senior, one of the trombonists in the jazz ensemble I was playing in, was driving me around in her car, and I reflexively apologized for something small,  » Read more

Continue Reading